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“Without using Claverley’s help,” Benedict said.
Lady Edith glared at the ceiling. She seemed to draw in a breath for support, then looked at me. “Why do you wish to avoid Lord Claverley’s house?”
“Because I do not care for him,” I said. My voice had lost some of its ire. Ripples of unease ran down my spine where his pudgy fingers had last left their mark, when he’d played with my dress ribbon. I suppressed a shudder at the memory. I could not voice my fear aloud when I had so little proof to validate my discomfort.
“Yet you are happy to remain here, but you also dislike—” Lady Edith cleared her throat, her gaze shooting to Benedict. She did not speak her son’s name, but that did not conceal her intent.
Benedict and I quarreled, but he had never given me cause to question my safety. “It is not the same thing.”
Lady Edith dropped her head and pressed her fingers to her temples, massaging them. When she faced me again, it was with quiet resolve. “We shall speak more on this later and develop a plan that leaves everyone satisfied. I need time to think.” She marched from the room with the grace and dignity of a woman who was raised in an earl’s home, leaving Benedict and me in complete silence.
“What now?” he asked softly.
I shut my eyes, somewhat hoping he would be gone once they opened again and I would no longer have an audience to my misery. I counted to ten and clenched my frustrated hands into fists. When I opened my eyes, Benedict had not moved, and it was more of a relief than I knew what to do with that he stayed.
“I do not know,” I said quietly. “I am grateful your mother intends to find a solution where we are both satisfied, but I fear that is an impossible task. I cannot help but think it would be better for everyone if I was to leave.”
He looked surprised. “Return to the Fullers’ kitchen?”
“I do not have that option.” If I was being honest, I no longer desired to do that sort of work. “I think I am better suited to being a companion or a governess to older children.”
“You’ve only just returned. Will you not wait a little longer and give my mother a chance to spend time with you before you leave?” His tone was gentle, surprising me with its softness.
“So long as she does not carry me to Lord Claverley’s house, I can. I will need time to find a position.” I gave him a wry smile. “There is no need to keep my plan a secret any longer.”
“Is the idea of remaining here so disagreeable to you?” He stepped forward and played with the back of the chair beside me, as though deciding whether or not to sit. He remained standing, but looked into my eyes. “Am I truly so disagreeable to you?”
“Is not the feeling mutual?”
I’d said the wrong thing. Hurt, unaccountably, splashed over his face. “No. It is not.”
“Oh? You do not hate me anymore? Where has this alteration come from?”
“Nowhere. I’ve never despised you as you do me, Thea.”
Hadn’t he, though? I might have become prickly after the embarrassment of learning I’d fallen for him and he was merely an insincere flirt, but since that moment, Benedict had met my quarreling with equal fervor. “You cannot rewrite our history, Ben.”
“I am not making that attempt. But you cannot tell me, after witnessing my mother’s pain, that you do not want to at leasttryto form some level of civility between us? Would laying down our weapons truly be so disgusting to you?”
“Laying down . . . you mean a truce?”
“Yes. A truce, of sorts.” He paced away, then back toward me. “We needn’t like one another to pretend we do. If we can prove we can be friends, maybe Mother would not press the issue with Lord Claverley. She could see the value in having our family sponsor you instead.”
“It cannot make matters worse, certainly.”
His mouth ticked up into a half-smile. “Being my friend? No, that would only brighten your life, surely.”
“You think so highly of yourself.”
“You are about to do so as well, I think.”
I laughed lightly, tearing my gaze from his gleaming, teasing eyes. The way they danced when he spoke, full of mischief, made the blue brighter and his smile more handsome. Blasted Benedict. I did not appreciate the way his proposed plan made me look at him differently.
“You desire a love match, then?” he asked.
“I do.”
“Then, if it is in my power, I shall help you achieve it.”
