AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chapter Fifteen
Duncan
"Domn, you know I will," I assure the man who has raised me to be a different man than I would have been had he left me on the street. I am glad that as I say this and watch as Kristof Adame clings to the last breaths of his life. Willow has left the room and I’m glad, she shouldn’t have to witness this. I am not a vulnerable man. Yeah, you can say it makes me weak or an ass, and I will agree with you. That’s fine with me.
But I can't do what I do and remain someone to fear without keeping a lot of what I feel locked away; even often training myself not to feel anything. But this man essentially saved me. I can’t feel nothing as he leaves this world.
I just can't.
And it fucking sucks.
"You know what she will have to learn, what she will have to do." I nod to let him know I get it. He need say no more. I know what this life will ask of her, and I can’t say I have never understood the reason why she wouldn't want a part of it. What have never known is the reason for her coldness to her own family and her own identity. Even with all the information I had been given in the beginning, I knew so little. Not that I should be wanting to fill in the emotional blanks. But for some reason with her, I do.
I tell myself that it is a craving to continue a closeness to the Adame family, but I dare not analyze and dig down for the real reason. I am not that kind of guy.
"Save your strength, Domn," I tell him with a serious look, and the man actually fucking chuckles through the coughing and all. But I can tell he won’t be saying anything else. He squeezes my hand and nods at me as if I am to know what that means. And I do.
It is time for me to leave. He won’t have anyone watch him actually go.
As I walk out, I am followed by all but his nurse, and even she faces away from him in his last moments. I don’t stand by to try and see if I can hear when his heart stops; I know very well it will be soon. His suffering will be over, and the Adame clan will officially belong to Willow, whether she wants it or not. My place now is with her. Of course, my place has always been with her.
But I realize I am not any more ready for this than she is, and that scares me more than anything. I am not a prepper. I can change my plans in no time flat depending on my orders or who comes for me or Domn.
I go and instantly dig into the supply of alcohol, not giving a shit that it is not even noon yet. The emotions are catching up with me as thoughts swirl in my head
that I never thought would be there. I hate it, and I need to shut it down. I am not good with them. They are not my friend, and they will only get both
myself and Willow hurt.
I smirk as I find some bourbon and snatch it, taking it into my bedroom. If anything is going to make me feel right again in the world, it is that.
I pace back and forth between that room and the security room as I guzzle it down, only half paying attention to what is on the screens. I need to know where Willow is, but I am not interested in watching Kristof being declared dead and cleaned up and taken away. It makes mortality too real to watch that shit. I don’t know how people do those things for a living.
Harris walks in on me, and I glare at him, thinking back to the altercation we had back when he didn’t know who Willow was. He damn well sure will know now. I know for a fact that everyone was called in there last night, and Kristoff told them. He must have.
He better watch his damn mouth right now, he may end up on the other end of my gun. I am not in the mood right now.
"So, I guess I know why she was your job now," he says with a scoff. "Who knew the man fucked a chink. I guess the good thing in all of this is we won’t be left so vulnerable, but she doesn’t really look like she has the balls needed to run this show," he commented.
I slam him into the wall, growling at him like a wild animal. My hot, alcohol stinking breath is in his face, and I hope he vomits.
"I don’t know if Domn has taken his last breath or not, but you know what my fucking job is, and you know what I will do to anyone who disrespects the domn. She may end up needing to marry someone eventually, but for right now, to you, she is Domnisoara I don’t want to hear anything less from your mouth or I will cut your lips off with a carving kit."
I see the fear in his eyes, and I know I have crossed the line here. Yes, Willow is the leader here in the UK now. But that didn't mean because she didn’t know everything that I could just do what the hell I wanted. Ion would eventually find out and put me in my place, and then I wouldn’t be able to do what I had promised Kristof I would do. And it was that promise that truly had me reeling right now. And it was so ridiculous.
Am I upset about the loss of a man I had served for years with loyalty who had taken me off the streets? Yes, no matter how much of a hard ass dick I am, I am still human. When someone close to me dies, I still feel. But there is something else bugging the hell out of me that just shouldn't.
I go to my room and drink the last of the bourbon which I made damn sure to purchase after that first night with Willow, sitting on my bed and staring forward while not seeing anything. I think I am going to pass out with as much as I drank, and that was the plan all along. But it isn’t happening. My head is spinning, instead, with the growing thoughts, I had wanted to shove down until they were gone.
Domn wanted me to be loyal to Willow and protect her. He fucking apologized for what he said to me in his last moments. What did that mean? Did he think that I was worthy of his daughter? I knew that meant he wanted me to do it for life. I know this. I know how the man speaks and operates. My job is not over and has been passed onto another person, even if she gets herself another bodyguard at some point.
I will be by Willow's side until one of us dies, and since I am the one tasked with protecting her, I will likely be the one to go first. So, my life is with her.
The problem with that is that I can't see myself doing this.
It’s not the protecting part, don’t get me wrong. I have no issue protecting this woman, no matter how stubborn she is. Though, I can’t help but hope she will grow out of that eventually and make my job a bit easier. I want her to choose me…but I am not an idiot.
It's about what I know I will be around for in her life. I will very shortly be watching her date and fuck other men. Well, not literally. I don’t think she is into the whole voyeurism thing, but still, I will know it’s happening. She may have put up a fight, but I know Willow, and I know that she loves to please other people. What’s to say that she doesn’t attempt to please her father from the grave and date this Romanian man, Stefan?
