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“I d-did at first,” I confess, my voice small. “But not anymore.”
“What do you see now?” He begins boldly massaging his fingers over me, into me, the pressure shooting straight up to my core.
I can’t speak. His hands are the only things I can focus on. This is so terribly wrong, Samuel will be back any moment, but I can’t stop. “I see…you,” I whimper, biting my lip.
“Good,” he hums, increasing the speed of his fingers between my legs. “You better hold onto those memories, because that’s all you’ll ever have.”
He rubs over my center with two fingers in a wide circle before kissing me dismissively on the lips. The kiss is short, a mere peck, but I read it loud and clear. This is goodbye. He drops his hand and cruelly pulls away.
Tears prick my eyes, my high long gone. “Saxon,” I plead, “I don’t know what this is, but…”
“This…is over,” he interrupts, not giving me a chance to finish. Not giving me a chance to confess that I have feelings for him.
He backs away from me, his eyes deadpanned. “I’ll catch ya later.”
“Where are you going?” I ask, unsure if I want to hear the answer.
“I’m going out.”
“Are you coming back?” I sadly say, following him as he strolls to his room.
“Not sure yet.” He hunts through the drawers, looking for a clean t-shirt.
The doorbell sounds, giving me a reason to leave the room because I wouldn’t go away otherwise. As I walk down the hall, I squint to ensure the person I think I’m seeing at my door is really there.
“Sophia?” I can’t hide my surprise.
She looks beyond stunning in a maroon dress which hugs all the right places. Her hair is out, her makeup is heavy but tasteful, and she smells lovely. She looks, smells, and is dressed for a date—a date with Saxon.
“Hi, Lucy. Nice to see you. I missed you last night.” I’m staring at her, unable to speak. She clears her throat. “Is Saxon home? He told me to come at five. I’m a little early,” she says, looking at her silver watch. She’s always early. Always eager. But in this circumstance, I wish she was neither.
I’m standing in the doorway, blocking her entry as I don’t want her inside. I don’t want her anywhere near Saxon.
“Hi, Sophia.” Saxon’s energized voice is like nails running down a chalkboard, and I recoil, inching the door shut. But it’s pulled wide open as he welcomes Sophia into my home. She steps in, but I don’t move an inch, a barrier between her and Saxon. She looks over my shoulder, grinning flirtatiously.
When did Saxon arrange this date? Was it before or after he slept with my best friend?
“Don’t wait up,” he jeers, pushing past me and guiding Sophia out the door as he places his hand on her lower back.
I stand, watching speechlessly as they get into her Honda. I’m feeling so much—anger, regret, sadness, confusion, but most of all, I want a do-over.
Nineteen
I wake with a start,as it sounds like an elephant is tiptoeing through my living room. Reaching for the lamp on the side table, the darkness is replaced with light, highlighting a very drunken Saxon attempting to be quiet. He’s frozen to the spot, his arms and legs mid-stride. If it wasn’t two in the morning, and if two days hadn’t passed since I saw him last, then I might be able to see the humor in it. But now, I’m just mad.
“Where have you been?” I whisper heatedly, not wanting to wake Sam.
“I told you not to wait up,” he slurs, pointing to a spot on the wall behind me where he most likely thinks I am.
“That was two days ago!”
“Oh.” He chuckles, slapping his leg.
“Saxon, this isn’t funny.” I jump up, irritated that he’s taking this so lightly.
Two days ago, Saxon walked out the door with Sophia and never came back. I tried calling his cell, her cell, Greg and Kellie’s cell, I even called the hospitals, almost certain he was lying in the ER. But no one knew where he was. Sophia offered to help look as she hasn’t seen him since their “date,” but I politely declined.
Sam had his weekly session and just like always, Sophia gave me a rundown on how things were going. But this time, instead of listening to a word she had to say, all I wanted to know was how her date with Saxon went.
