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I know this is hard for him, but this isn’t exactly easy for me either. Everything I thought I knew has been turned on its axis, and I don’t even know who I am anymore. The person I loved lied to me. Our entire relationship was based on a lie. Maybe that’s why he didn’t remember me. Our so-called perfection was an echo of what could have been.
“You can hate me after I get you cleaned up.” I reach for the cloth, running it under some water to wipe away his war paint. I’m surprised he allows me to tend to his wounds, seeing as I’ve inflicted an even bigger one on his heart.
I work in silence, the intimacy leaving me winded as our breaths amalgamate as one. This is the first time in so many months he’s permitted me to touch him without cursing my name. “I don’t hate you, Lucy. I can’t,” he reveals, his eyes lowered. “You’re a part of me. You always have been. No matter what you think you know, my love for you has always been real. It’s the reason I did what I did.”
What IthinkI know? What does that mean?
“We can discuss this later.” I need a minute to clear my head. I’m sure he does too because I’ve just dropped a bombshell. He needs time to process what I’ve just revealed.
“Don’t you love me anymore?” My heart can’t take it any longer, and I sniff back my tears. “Baby, please, talk to me.”
My hands quiver uncontrollably as I wipe his temple, tears welling. He stills my fingers; his touch so familiar yet so foreign all at the same time. “Do you still love me?”
It shouldn’t be such a hard question—I either do, or I don’t.
My answer weighs heavily between us, but I don’t know how I feel. I’ve just been thrown a curveball, and life as I know it has changed forever. I need a minute to breathe.
But Sam presses, just how the old Sam would. “Maybe the better question here is…do you love him?” A tear slips down my cheek, but this time, I don’t wipe it away.
“I…” I never get to answer him, though, or face the truth because my voice of reason speaks for me.
“Sophia is on her way.” The moment my eyes lock with Saxon’s, a small piece of my heart returns.
He stands in the doorway, looking worse for wear, but like the heroic man he is, he plays off his injuries—both physical and emotional. I have no doubt he heard what Sam asked me. Therefore, he also heard my pause, which spoke volumes. I desperately want to reach out, but I don’t. His clenched jaw and folded arms are enough of a reason for me to stay put.
“We’re done here.” I flinch when I realize how my statement could be misconstrued.
I can’t stay in here a second longer. I’m bound to suffocate if I do. Collecting all the supplies, I toss the bloody cloth into the trash. Saxon needs tending to also, but I’m afraid he’ll tell me to go to hell if I offer to help.
His lip is busted open, and his eye has turned a ghastly shade of purple. I can’t even imagine the damage done to his body as the sickening thuds Sam delivered to Saxon’s curled form still assault my brain. “I-I…” I don’t even know what I want to say.
Both brothers look at me as if I have the answers they both desperately seek. But I don’t. I don’t know what comes next. Saxon swallows, the sadness and utter hopelessness submerging me whole. He stands before me, battered and bruised, and it’s all my fault.
My gaze floats to Sam. He too looks broken and so alone. Oh god…what have I done?
I thought nothing could compare to Sam losing his memory, but standing here with both Stone brothers, this pain, this utter confliction I feel is enough to leave me scrambling from the room, hand over mouth, seconds away from being sick.
I make it to the bathroom just in time.
Once I’m done exorcizing myself of this agony, I flush the toilet and splash some water on my pale cheeks. My reflection looks no better than it did a few minutes ago. I peer at myself, wishing the answers were within reach because I have no idea what to do. My head and my heart are torn—split right down the middle.
Whatever decision I make, someone gets hurt by my hand. How can I live with myself, knowing I wounded someone who did nothing but love me with all their heart? The sickness returns, but this time, it’s my guilt scratching at the surface.
A knock on the door has me spinning so quickly, I almost fall to the floor. I want to tell whoever it is to go away because I just need time…
However, when the knocking persists and the door opens slowly, I know time isn’t on my side. “Lucy, it’s me.”
“Piper?” Trapped air whooshes from my lungs as my best friend, Piper Green, peers around the doorway apprehensively before entering the bathroom.
The moment she sees me—arms wrapped around my middle, and my cheeks wet with tears—she rushes forward. “Oh, Lucy. What’s wrong?” The moment she hugs me, all my walls crumble, and I cry ugly, gut-wrenching tears.
“What have I-I d-done?” I sob into her shoulder, unable to keep the tears at bay.
“Shh…it’ll be okay. Whatever it is, we will work it out.” But that’s the problem—I don’t even know where to start.
“I’ve done something terrible…” I confess. Piper waits for me to continue. “I…Saxon and me…” God, how do I come clean without sounding like a gigantic homewrecking whore?
Piper fills in the blanks. “You slept with Saxon?” Closing my eyes, I nod, still comforted in her arms. “And you regret it?”
