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She’s attempting to complete a puzzle without all the pieces, so I don’t blame her for jumping to that conclusion. My sins bubble to the surface, and I’m fearful for my soul.
Pulling it together, I gently break our embrace, wiping the torrent of tears from my cheeks. There is no judgment on Piper’s face, only utter concern. I know I can tell her anything, but this, this isn’t just anything.
“How did you know to come?”
She brushes my arm. “Saxon called me. He asked me to come as soon as I could. That’s it. What’s going on?”
Of course, he did.
Saxon knows me better than I know myself, so I push down my guilt and anguish and unburden myself from this self-persecution. “The answer to your question is…” Piper nods, urging me to continue. God save my soul. “No, I don’t regret it…and that’s the problem. I should.”
She’s quick to jump to my defense. “You can’t help your feelings. You’re human.” I wouldn’t be so sure.
“Sam remembers,” I interject, placing all my cards on the table. Her mouth parts, her understanding clear. For once in her life, she’s speechless. “Sam remembers, Piper…” I weigh up each word because when I say them, I can’t take them back. “He remembers. It’s what I’ve wished for these past few months. It’s all I wanted. But now that he remembers—” a small piece of my innocence dies “—all I want is for him to forget.”
A small gasp leaves my best friend.
“So, do you still think I’m so human? Because what kind of person would wish that upon the man they were going to marry?”
Piper looks dumbfounded, searching for the right words. But until she knows the whole story, I won’t allow her to comfort me even though I know she will try.
Taking a deep breath, I pull back my shoulders and own up to the mess I’ve made. “I’m in love with Saxon Stone…deeply and irrevocably in love with him… and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Wow.” Piper’s lack of articulation is fine because for the past hour, I’ve done all the talking.
I’ve illustrated every single detail—how things between Saxon and me grew to the earthshattering secret he revealed moments before Sam regained his memory. Even to my ears, the tale sounded almost fantastical—I almost wish it were. But as my heart aches and my stomach twists into knots, I know this is really happening, and it isn’t as black and white as it seems.
I love Saxon. I love him with every inch of my heart. But Sam… now that he’s back, I don’t know what to do. I can’t just forget about what we shared because doing that would be forgetting me. He’s been such an integral part of my life— I’m afraid of what happens next.
What I do know is that I need to speak to Saxon. He barely looked at me, and the fact he sent me off to comfort Samuel concerns me beyond words. Every time I think of him, of the lost look in those poignant eyes, my heart aches. But as I just confessed to Piper, my heart and head are fighting.
I shouldn’t want to console Saxon, but I do. I want to bury myself in those strong arms because it’s the only place I feel safe—where anything makes any sense. But I can’t. Samuel needs me, and as much as my head and heart are dueling, I have to do what’s right.
“I have to find Sam.”
Piper nods vacantly, obviously still grappling with the bombshell I just dropped.
Deciding to freshen up because I look like roadkill, I brush back my long blonde hair and wash away my tears. When I look semi human, I take a deep breath.
“Are you going to be okay?”
Weighing her question, I shrug. “I have to be.”
“I’ll be here with you. Every step of the way.” I appreciate her promise because I could use all the support I can get.
The moment I open the door, I hear hushed murmurs coming from the living room, and I know without a doubt who that is. I was expecting a little more time, but I suppose there is no time like the present because this affects us all.
Taking three deep breaths, I round the corner and see Sophia and Saxon with their heads drawn together in deep conversation. His hand rests loosely but comfortingly on her upper arm as she sniffs. Samuel sits on the sofa, staring off into space. It’s clear Sophia has delivered the full story of his accident up until now.
As much as I don’t want to talk to her, I know she can shed some much-needed light on what’s going on. The moment I clear my throat, hoping to find my voice, both she and Saxon turn their heads my way. Sam doesn’t move a muscle.
“Hi, Sophia.” The moment our gazes meet, I know that she knows. She knows what Saxon and I did while she most likely was being impeded by Piper. I feel sick.
“Hello,” she curtly replies. Although she wants to rip out my eyeballs, she remains professional. “I was just speaking with Samuel about what happened. I think it would be best if he came back to the hospital with me where I can run some tests.”
“And I told you, I’m not going anywhere,” Sam rebukes, still staring straight ahead. Something is almost menacing about his posture. Hands interlocked between his splayed legs, he’s bowed forward as if plotting the world’s demise.
“Sam…you should listen to Sophia. We don’t know what happened. You hit your head pretty hard.” It’s like talking to a brick wall because he doesn’t budge from his rigid stance.
