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“It’s not that simple. I haven’t bought the garages yet, but the offer is there.” He runs a hand down his face. “Two of Gus’s close friends want to sell. They’re close to going bust. They’re willing to sell to me at cost price. We both win. I can help out Gus’s friends, pull them out of debt, while expanding my business and making a future for myself. For us.”
“For us? In Oregon. Buying more garages means you’ll be staying there for a very long time. You can barely be away with one garage, let alone three. I haven’t made up my mind. You know this, and now I feel like I’m being forced.”
“It’s not like that,” he argues, shaking his head.
“Sam told me you’ve been speaking to Cleo. You said this had nothing to do with her.”
“And it doesn’t! Yes, she may have hooked me up with Gus’s contacts, but this deal is all me.” He curls his thumb toward him. “It’s my chance to finally build a future. A good one where I can forget what could have been and focus on what’s ahead.”
Instantly, I feel guilty because I know he’s talking about the bad hand he’s been dealt. But regardless, he should have told me. “I understand that, but I feel like I don’t have a choice. I either move… or I lose you.”
“You’ve always had a choice. I would never force you to do something you don’t want to do.” His shoulders sag.
This is untrue, and his deceit hurts. “Who were you speaking to when you said you hadn’t convinced me to move, but I’d come around?”
“I didn’t mean it that way.” He’s quick to defend, which reinforces his guilt.
“Well, how did you mean it then? Because from where I stand, it’s pretty clear. You lied to me, Saxon. Not just about this, but when I asked you about Cleo too.”
He throws his arms out wide. “When you asked about Cleo, what you were really asking was if I had slept with her!” There’s no point denying it.
We’re standing in the middle of the sidewalk, airing our dirty laundry. How did it come to this? “So this is your secret?Thisis what you needed time for? Time to convince me to move to Oregon when you know I’m not ready. Is that why you came back here? It had nothing to do with Sam after all?”
He storms forward, placing his hands on my cheeks. “You willalwaysbe the reason I come back, Lucy. Everything, everyone can fall into place around us. I was speaking to the bank when I said what I did about convincing you. I needed the loan, and at the time, I said what he wanted to hear. But I would never force you. You know that.”
Tears fill my eyes because we are clearly caught in a conundrum. And what he says next just confirms it. “But it shouldn’t be that hard. I’d move heaven and hell to be with you…but you won’t even try making this sacrifice for me. If you hated it, we could move back here. But you’ve made up your mind. Do you know how that makes me feel?”
“Montana is my home. It always has been,” I whisper. “Moving away means I leave behind my mom, my dad, work, Piper…”
“Sam,” he fills in the blanks while I recoil, stunned.
“Wh-what are you talking about?”
He loosens his hold, completely defeated. “We all have secrets, and I suppose I didn’t tell you because I knew we’d end up like this. Deep down, I know you will never leave here because…”
I gulp, my mouth suddenly going dry. “Because why? What secrets?”
He takes a steadying breath, before confessing what we both knew was coming. “Because of Sam. I know you still…love him.”
“I don’t.” My stomach turns inside out, and I’m afraid I’m going to be sick.
But he shakes his head, gesturing with his palm for me to stop. “Please don’t. You’re fooling yourself if you think you don’t love him. These past three days, I was hoping you’d prove me wrong. You could start a new life with me, in Oregon, away from the past, where you can really start fresh, away from Samuel, but you won’t. You will never get over him by staying here. But maybe that’s the problem. Maybe you don’t want to.”
“Saxon, no…I love you.” Tears fall down my cheeks, but Saxon is unmoved.
“Those are just words, Lucy. And in this case, actions speak a lot louder.”
I’m on the cusp of hyperventilating, but I need to know. “Ar-are you breaking up with me?”
He doesn’t reply, only peers downward, tonguing his scar. “I don’t know what to do.”
“No.” I swoop forward, forcing him to look at me as I grip his chin. “I won’t let you do this. Okay, I will come. Try it out.” But my response comes too late, and it’s filled with halfhearted promises.
He pulls out of my hold, something he’s never done before. “I don’t want you to come. Not like this. I want you to come because you choose me. Really choose me. I understand Sam will always be a part of your life…but I just…I just don’t think I will ever be able to compete with what you shared.”
My entire world is crumbling before my eyes, and all I can think of is what my mom said.
“You will fight this, Lucy. I know you. But sooner or later, you’ll run out of fight. All I ask is that you’re honest with yourself. That’s all you can do. You owe that to yourself… and to Saxon and Samuel.”
