AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He nods once, exhaling, then opens the door and leaves me to deal with this torment within. For the first time in fifty-three days, I am truly alone. Only when his footsteps grow faint do I wrap my arms around my middle and let the tears fall.
Sara rushes forward and hugs me tightly as we both weep for the men who have left our lives.
I thought I knew what pain felt like, but right now, I feel like a switch has been flipped, and my life has been shrouded in nothing but darkness.
“Wh-what did h-he say?” I stumble over my words as I sob into Sara’s shoulder.
She rubs my back, her tears reflective of my own. “He said, remember, I’m always next to you.”
But honestly, how could I forget?
Day 54
YOUR JOURNAL SITSin my lap where it’s been since you left. You told me it holds the answers I seek, but I’m afraid because I know once I open it, I will have to face this—alone.
Running my fingers over the leather-bound cover, I wonder where you are and if you’re safe. All of this can’t be for nothing, so with that as my mindset, I take a deep breath and open the book to the first page, which is our beginning.
Unable to help myself, I stroke over the paper. The indents from your handwriting have me remembering the last words you spoke to me.
Remember, I’m always next to you.
How I wish you were here now, but having this with me gives me the strength to persevere and focus. The first entry is a flowchart of sorts, and in the center, the number three has multiple circles around it. Branching from this are arrows with words that mean nothing to me.
The fairest of them allis underlined twice. An arrow extends outward from this puzzle withsix dwarfswritten in block letters. Saint needs to touch up on his Disney because Snow White had seven dwarfs.
The next arrow simply saysShaken, not stirred, which is a James Bond quote, andseven deadly sinswith+2is the next thing circled.
What does this all mean? From memory, there isn’t a movie called Seven Deadly Sins with a sequel.
The last arrow is something I actually recognize.
A good friend will always stab you in the front.
It’s an Oscar Wilde quote. But what does it mean? These are connected to Alek and The Circle somehow, but I may as well be reading Russian because none of it makes a lick of sense.
More notes are connected to these points, but I decide to flip to a different page because the harder I think about it, the more confused I become. However, when I turn the page, I wonder if Saint was high when he wrote this because I find a hand-drawn sudoku puzzle, but the numbers don’t correlate.
Saint doesn’t make mistakes. I’ve seen him complete these puzzles with ease, so why is this puzzle riddled with errors?
The next page and the one after that are just rows and rows of numbers. They seem to be divided into sentences, which is ridiculous, seeing as there are no words. What is he trying to tell me? I flick through page after page of similar riddles. Some with numbers and the others with quotes or simple words underlined. And some are just symbols I’ve never seen before.
He told me this journal contained notes on The Circle, and to beat my enemy, I need to become them, but right now, all I’m becoming is delirious. Groaning, I stretch my neck from side to side as I’m sitting at an odd angle on the bed. My back is to the cameras, so anyone looking in remains clueless to what I’m really doing.
I wish Saint could explain this to me because I’m honestly baffled by what all this means. I toss the journal onto the bed, but when it opens to a page, and I see writing, sentences I can comprehend, I reach for it quickly, hoping to make sense of something. But nothing can prepare me for what I see.
She won’t break. No matter what I do, she will not submit. Each time I punish her, I feel whatever small shred of humanity I have left slip away. I know this is wrong but so is delivering her to that soulless asshole.
I don’t have a choice. God save my soul.
Looking at the date, I see this is when we were on the yacht. Day six of my being held captive, to be precise. I read over his musings with my heart in my throat because he has detailed everything. My fumbling fingers can’t keep up as I flick through the pages, gasping when I see he has written down everything—from beginning to…now.
I start from the day that kick-started this entire nightmare, which seems like a lifetime ago.
Page after page, I am privy to Saint’s most inner thoughts and feelings, which is ironic because, at the time, I was certain he wasn’t capable of the latter. But as I continue to read, I experience our story through his eyes. I’ve lived it, but seeing me how he does is just extraordinary.
I’m not sure how long I sit, reading over each journal entry because the further I get, the blurrier the words become, thanks to my tears. At first, he is angry, angry with the world, but that soon turns to confusion, as it did with me.
When we were shipwrecked, I would have given anything to know his thoughts, but when I read a particular entry, I realize I knew what he was feeling all along because I felt it too.
