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Turning slowly, afraid my mind is playing tricks on me, I prepare to be greeted by a ghost of the past. But when I lock in on those expressive green eyes, I realize she’s here. She’s really here.
I need a minute to take her in because she’s changed, although, in some ways, she looks exactly the same.
Her long hair is now a light brown with blonde through it. I remember when we met, it was a brighter blonde. I wonder if she dyed it to help disguise who she really was. She wears fitted blue jeans and a short knitted jumper. She has some makeup on, and I focus on her glossy pink lips.
How I want to taste them.
“I wanted”—she clears her throat—“I wanted to come pick you up.”
My body instantly responds to her voice, and I wonder how I lived without it for ten years. I realize I was only half living.
“But I didn’t know if I should. I didn’t know if you’d want me to.”
Her chest shudders as she exhales. She’s nervous.
“You look—” She scrunches up her nose when she takes in my black and blue state. “Just how I remember you. But older.”
I want to speak, but I’m addicted to hearing her voice, so I remain quiet.
She brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. “I guess that’s what happens when ten years pass. We get old.”
I can’t take my eyes off her, and when her cheeks turn scarlet, I know she still feels this pull between us. It never left. It was merely in a ten-year slumber. But the beast has awoken, and it needs to be fed.
“Are you going to say anything?” she asks, biting her bottom lip. “Do you want me to go? You’re not happy to see me?”
She’s clutching at straws as I haven’t said a word. I’m afraid to. I’m afraid to tell her I love her because I’ve never told anyone that I’ve loved them before.
“This was a mistake.”
She spins on her heel, intent on running out the door, but I lunge forward and seize her arm, stopping her. The sparks between us almost set me alight. Touching her winds me, as I’m reminded of the times when I devoured every inch of her skin.
But when a breathy whimper leaves her parted lips, I realize she’s not privy to the secret that we’re not blood. So I let her go because I don’t want her feeling ashamed for the attraction which still lingers between us.
“I am happy to see ye.” I finally speak, watching the way her body softens to my words. “I’m sorry. It’s just…a lot.”
She nods, lowering her eyes. “I know what you mean. I don’t know where to start.”
“Aye. It’s fucking weird,” I say, wishing I could be a little more articulate. “Ya look…good.”
I wanted to say beautiful, but it’s hardly appropriate.
“How are you? I mean…” She quickly covers her face with her palms, shaking her head. “I don’t know what I mean. Why is this so difficult?”
I understand how she’s feeling. I want to say so many things, but words escape me.
Stepping forward, I gently remove her hands so I can see her face. She allows me to touch her openly. I don’t let go of her hands. I can feel her pulse racing wildly on her wrist.
“It’s okay to be nervous. I’m nervous too.”
“You are?” she asks with a small smile. “You don’t look nervous.”
“How do I look then?”
She exhales deeply, her eyes filled with tears. “You look like you,” she confesses softly. “Why didn’t you want to see me? I wrote you hundreds of letters. I came to see you. But you just…forgot about me? Is that it? You couldn’t forgive me? What you said to me…you meant it?”
Her insecurity hurts me because she’s got it all wrong. I was forced to stay away from all of them to protect them. But it seems even though their safety was ensured, the pain I caused mentally has been far worse than I ever imagined.
Brushing over her knuckles, I reply, “I didn’t want to see ye in there. Not caged up like some animal. And I never forgot ya.”
