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She blinks once, unsure if she heard me correctly, but when I press the gun to the middle of her forehead, she realizes that she did. “Please, don’t ki-kill me. I don’t wa-want to d-die.”
Flynn and Grady help her to her knees, their smirks revealing what sick fucks they are. I’m saddened I didn’t end their lives when I had the chance.
“How should she be made an example of?” Sean asks the men, who eye Orla in a new fashion. “Should we kill her? ’Cause that’s what she deserves.”
Orla interlaces her hands and begins to pray—just as her father did when in a similar situation. It makes me sick that history is repeating itself. I don’t know how much more I can take.
“Or maybe she can pay her debt another way?”
All I see are hungry wolves, licking their lips at the prospect of Orla being their whore. She will be shared around, abused and humiliated in ways that no person should ever endure. And once they are done with her, she’ll be killed—and killed slowly.
I know what I have to do.
“Lead us not into temptation…” she prays softly, eyes closed, begging for salvation.
But she won’t find any here.
“But deliver us from evil,” I whisper under my breath, and just as Orla peers up at me with hope, I pull the trigger. She leaves this earth with my face being the last thing she sees.
Forgive me.
The loud bang shatters the bloodlust.
“Should I leave her head on her father’s doorstep?” I goad Sean, slamming the gun into his chest. I don’t want it. “Oh, that’s right. Her dad’s dead.”
Sean reads my sarcasm and doesn’t push as he knows I’m close to my boiling point. I did what he wanted, so I push past the men and leave before I kill them all.
Once in my truck, I speed away, wishing I could escape this emptiness inside me, but it’s only growing. I know sooner or later, it’ll eat me whole.
The faces of the men and women I’ve killed flash before me, and I know they’ll haunt me for the rest of my days.
Turning down a winding backroad that is scarcely used, I push down on the accelerator, close my eyes, and surrender. I don’t want to be the callous man Sean wants me to be. But what choice do I have? Things would be so much easier if I just…stopped breathing. I can’t save Babydoll.
For the first time in my life…I give up.
“I’m sorry, Ma. I failed ye. I failed youse all.”
Taking my hands off the steering wheel, I know once I veer from the gravel road I will either hit a tree or fall down the steep embankment. Either possibility I’m fine with.
I lose myself in Babydoll. Her smile, her laughter, the way a simple thing as her trademark scent could chase the monsters away. She is the last memory I want to have when I leave this world.
A tiny voice screams at me, demanding I don’t give up. My mum never surrendered; she fought with the last breath she took. As did Babydoll; she fought for me when I didn’t want her to. She never gave up. If I do this, then this is me, giving up on her.
“I love you too. I always have. Come back to me. Promise me?”
I made a promise, and I intend to keep it because I am Puck fucking Kelly, and I don’t give up.
Opening my eyes, I frantically turn the wheel, but it’s too late as I’ve careened off the road and am headed straight for a tree. I don’t bother braking. Instead, I swerve and hope for the best. The airbag implodes the moment the bonnet connects with the trunk of the tree.
The engine dies with a splutter as I pat myself down, ensuring all my parts are still intact. I’m fine, just a gash to the forehead and some whiplash to the neck. The truck, however, is not.
Opening the door, I climb from the truck and exhale loudly when I see the damage. Swerving may have saved my life, but it didn’t save Cian’s truck. It’s a write-off.
“Fuck!” I scream into the skies, threading my hands through my hair. “Fuck!”
Birds take flight, terrified of the madman screaming down their home.
With my heart racing, I do feel slightly better. I don’t know if it was destroying something, or straddling the line of life and death which has woken me the fuck up because I clearly want to live. I’m no quitter. I never have been. I’m appalled at myself for even contemplating giving up.
