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Tears prick my eyes, but I sniff them back because crying won’t solve a thing. I want to ask him so many things, but I don’t know where to start. We’ve been broken before, but this time, it hurts so much more.
With the gentlest of touches, Punky reaches out and lifts my chin. The moment we lock eyes, I feel whole again. But there is so much pain reflected behind his blue gaze.
He examines me slowly, tenderly rubbing his thumb over my chin. I remain perfectly still, caught under his spell. I’ve dreamed of this day.
His hair is tousled, his beard unkempt. A savage fresh scar on his face has me gasping.
“Wh-what happened?”
He jolts as though my voice shook him from a daydream. “Cormac,” he replies, and I arch a brow, confused. Why would Rory’s dad do something so cruel?
Unless…
“What did you do?” I whisper, almost afraid of the answer.
He rubs his thumb over my bottom lip, appearing transfixed by it. “I did everythin’ ya think I did. Rory betrayed us…and he paid with his life.”
I blink once, his blunt statement winding me. “You…ki-killed him?”
“Aye, I did,” he confesses without remorse while my stomach drops.
I think I’m going to be sick.
Reaching for the glass of water Ethan left me, I gulp it down, Punky’s words playing on a loop as my mind refuses to accept them as truth.
“How could you?” I cry, my voice uneven. “I know what he did was wrong, but he was your friend. He meant something to both of us.”
“And that’s why I killed him,” he counters without feeling.
The glass trembles in my hand. Now I know why things feel so different this time.
“Tell me what happened.” It’s not a request but rather a demand.
I lick my lips nervously. “Rory said we were going to meet you. But when we got to the flat, and I saw Liam, I knew he’d set us up. He didn’t tell me why or what he got in return, but I can guess.
“He did this because we hurt him, Punky,” I say with utter regret. “It’s not an excuse, but it’s an explanation. We’re all as guilty as one another, but you and I are still alive. We can try to make amends. But Rory cannot.”
Punky stands like stone. “I know ye hate me for it, but I did what I had to. I accept whatever the consequences are.”
Just how he accepted Cormac’s abuse.
He accepts the consequences because he isn’t without feeling—I know Rory’s death affects him. He wouldn’t be human if it didn’t. Puck knew the repercussions of killing Rory, but he accepts them because his need for revenge will always win.
For his whole life, he has searched for vengeance, and it just continues to grow.
“Is Shay your…son?” I ask, seeing as we’re all about truths.
“I don’t know, but he could be. I’m waitin’ on paternity results.”
“Fuck this vicious cycle,” I whisper, shaking my head. “Just how you waited for paternity results about who your father really was? When will this end?”
Expressing my frustrations out loud just makes me feel worse. I don’t know if Punky and I will ever live a “normal” life. We are stuck in an endless loop, always looking over our shoulders to defeat the bad guys. But I’ve come to realize, what if we are the villains?
“So you had conjugal visits then? You had no issues seeing other women, but not me?” I can’t help myself because I need to know.
Rubbing the back of his neck, he sighs. “Aoife was a nurse. She—”
“Nice,” I spit, tonguing my cheek. “She clearly takes her duty of care very seriously.”
