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“I’m going to put you on loudspeaker, okay? That’ll make things a little easier,” she kindly explains, but I know my dad doesn’t want to talk to me. “Okay, you’re good to go. I’ll give you some privacy.” I hear the door shut.
There is complete silence, apart from my father’s raspy breaths, waiting for me to speak.
“Ciao, Papà. Come stai?” I ask, which is a stupid question, seeing as he’s cooped up in a hospital.
But I persevere. “Mi dispiace per non visitare. Lavoro èstato occupato,” I say, using the same excuse I gave to Marie for not visiting.
I know he’s listening because his breathing has increased. I decide to switch to English, hoping I’ll get a response from him.
“Have you been doing any gardening? I remember seeing a beautiful garden out back.”
I’m still greeted with silence.
I know my father, and he’s not interested in my work or gardening; he wants answers. He wants me to say I’m sorry for abandoning him when he needed me the most. He wants me to explain why I left him.
Clenching the steering wheel, I take a deep breath and say what’s been on my mind since the day I left him there. “I’m sorry,Papà.I really am. I…I didn’t know what else to do. When we lost Mamma, I think she took a piece of us with her. You especially. I know I did you wrong, but I’m asking you to forgive me.”
Why won’t he talk to me? I can hear him, and I know he can hear me, too. Suddenly, I hear his slippers scuff across the floor. His steps are small and measured, and I can’t help but think they’re the footsteps of a broken man.
“Papà?” I beseech, sitting up straighter in my seat.
It’s a plea, a plea for him to talk to me.
His breathing rattles in his chest, his exhalations coming out louder and choppier. The sound has me choking up, and I say the only thing I can that really expresses how I feel.
“Ti amo.”
My words of love are greeted with silence, but this time, the silence is because my father has hung up on me.
Closing my eyes in defeat, I numbly end the call and rest my head on the steering wheel. I don’t know what I expected. Because if I were him, I would have done the same.
Only when a car horn blares behind me do I raise my head to see that traffic has finally started moving. I put my car into gear and take off, speeding away from demons I must one day face.
That day, however, is not today. And I don’t see it happening anytime soon.
I’ve invited Finch and Hunter over for pizza and beer. Basketball is on, and I can’t think of a better way to distract myself from my non-relationship woes. A knock on the door interrupts me from stocking the fridge with beer. I look at my watch and see the boys are early, which is a first.
“Couldn’t wait for my boys to kick your ass?” I say as I open the door.
Instead, I’m greeted by Juliet.
“Oh yeah, I can’t wait,” she purrs, giving me big, innocent eyes.
“What are you doing here?” I abruptly counter instead.
She’s visibly taken aback by my curtness, but after this weekend, she’s the last person I want to see.
However, she soon recovers from my insolence. “I’m here to fuck your brains out,” she boldly replies, not holding back.
Before, the very vivid picture she just painted would have me tearing her clothes off, but now, it just makes me cringe.
Juliet sees my hesitation and takes a step forward, wrapping her arms around my neck. “What’s the matter? You’re not happy to see me?” she asks, pouting.
“I just wasn’t expecting you,” I reply, subtly unchaining her hands from around my neck.
“Well, what a surprise,” she replies cockily, her blue eyes glowing with mischief.
Indeed.
