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“Push you away?” I scoff. “You already did that.”
Closing my eyes, I try and hold back the tears threatening to fall, but a few leak out the corners of my eyes and slip down my temples, splashing into my hair.
“I heard you, Ryan,” I whisper, his name burning my lips to even say.
“Heard what?” he asks, confused.
But before I can answer, the door to the room opens and in floods Ally, Courtney, Jake, and Jack, all gathering around the bed.
“Ashley,” Ally gushes, tears spilling down her cheeks like rivers. “You’re okay.”
“I am,” I assure her, even though I’m anything but okay.
“I’m glad you’re okay.” Courtney sniffs, turning to wipe her eyes so I can’t see. Her husband, Jack, puts his arm around her, looking down at her with such love and devotion.
Jake is the same. He hugs Ally from behind and kisses her neck, just letting her know he’s there for her.
That’s all I’ve ever wanted. My dad used to do that, and be that, for my mom. He was her rock, and he was there. Always.
Tears pool in my eyes and I look up at the ceiling. I start counting the tiles to try and distract myself from the throbbing in my head and the sinking of my heart.
But my eyes eventually find their way back to Ryan’s tired ones, the confusion and hurt still swirling in his pools of blue. He’s still waiting for me to answer his question.
His hair is messy like he’s been running his fingers through it, and he looks disheveled in his uniform. His shirt is wrinkled and the top two buttons are undone.
I look at Ally, knowing she can see what I’m feeling and what I’m trying to tell her. Please make him leave. Please.
I beg her with my eyes.
Nodding once, she clears her throat, and gives Ryan a hard stare. “Ryan, I think you should go. Ashley needs to stay calm and rest.”
“What’s that supposed to mean, Ally?” he asks harshly. “What’s going on?” His eyes dart around the room and then land back on me. “Ash, I thought–”
“You thought what?” I interrupt, my voice hard, and filled with unshed tears. And he just stares. “Exactly. We’re nothing. Now leave.”
I could swear the flash of pain in his eyes is genuine, but he covers it up so quickly I can’t be sure.
“Hey, Ry, let’s take a walk,” Jake suggests, motioning to the door with a nod.
Growling low under his breath, Ryan shoves his chair back and stands, my head spinning at the sound as he stalks out. Jake looks at me apologetically, and then follows his older brother out of the room.
“Ashley…” Ally starts, but then pauses. “Hey, guys,” she says to Courtney and Jack, “give us a minute?”
“Sure.” Courtney gives me a small smile and walks out hand in hand with her husband.
When Ally looks back at me, her face says it all. I know a lecture is coming.
“I need water,” I rasp, my throat bone dry.
“Oh, of course.” Grabbing the Styrofoam cup from the food tray to my left, she holds the straw up to my mouth.
When the first splash of cold water hits my tongue, I close my eyes as it runs down my throat, soothing the pain.
“Thank you,” I tell her, sounding a little more like myself.
“Ash, he’s been here the entire time. He hasn’t left your side.”
“How long have I been here?”
