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“Mom, that’s not it.”
“It is. And that’s on me. I lost myself when your father died. He was my everything, Ashley. I wasn’t ready to lose him, and I didn’t know what to do when I did.” I can hear the sadness and unshed tears in her voice. “I wasn’t able to be there for you, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, honey. You may as well have lost both parents that day.”
“Mom, no.” Tears spill down my cheeks, and I pull the phone away from my face to try and gather myself. “I lost my dad. I didn’t lose you. You had to heal in your own way, and I had to in mine.”
“But I should have been there for you more. We should have healed together.”
“It’s okay, mom. I was twenty. I found a way.”
“That’s still a baby, honey. You needed me.”
She’s right, I did need her, but I understood.
“I love you, mom,” I whisper, my heart squeezing. She’s finally saying the things I’ve always wanted to hear.
“I love you, too, honey. And I promise I’m going to be better. I started seeing a therapist last month. I’m learning to cope.”
“Mom, that’s amazing. I’m so proud of you.”
“It’s a start.”
“I want you to be happy again.”
“I’m learning to focus on the future again, and moving forward.”
“I know you loved dad, mom. And he loved you. I won’t ever think any less than that if you start moving on and living again.”
“Ashley,” she chokes, and I can hear her crying through the phone. “Thank you. Thank you, baby.”
“Mom, please don’t cry,” I beg, tears streaming down my face.
“I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I’m just glad I didn’t lose you, too. But you have to promise me you’ll stop hiding things from me. I’m your mother, I should know if you’re hurt.”
“Sorry,” I whisper, feeling like a shitty daughter. “Then I should probably tell you that I had to quit my job at the bar because my boss cornered me and I punched him in the face.”
“Ashley, why would you hide that?”
“Because of what happened at the law firm. This is the second time a man has thought I’d been leading him on, and the second time a man’s thought it was okay to put his hands on me. I don’t know what I do that makes them think–”
“Ashley,” she interrupts, “it’s not you. It’s them. Those little pricks think because they have a higher position of power, then they can do whatever they want.”
“But–”
“Let me finish,” she interrupts again. “You’re a smart, beautiful woman. And most men think that just smiling at them is flirting. Trust me, honey, it’s not you. It’s them. Men are famously dense when it comes to women.”
“Thank you,” I say softly. I should have just talked to her from the beginning. I don’t know why I thought she’d think differently of me, or blame me.
“Now, let’s talk about your new man.”
Smiling, I pull my knees to my chest. “Well, his name is Ryan. Ryan Taylor. He’s the sheriff of Pine Cove, and, uh, Ally’s fiancé’s older brother.”
“Oh, scandalous.”
“Mom.” I laugh.
“He sounded handsome on the phone when he called me.”
“He is.” I bite my lip. “Very handsome. And pretty freaking amazing.”
