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As the sun sets, and the sky grows darker, I realize that most of the day has passed me by, and I’m starving.
Grabbing my phone, I text Ally and ask her if she wants to grab dinner. I told her not to think that she has to be available for me every day just because I’m here, but I’m not really looking forward to going out to eat by myself.
Standing, I stretch my stiff limbs, and head down the hall to the bathroom. A hot shower revives me, and snaps me out of the contemplative state I was in. I just need to push forward until everything works out how it’s supposed to.
I put on black skinny jeans, a black tank top, and a long beige cardigan sweater. Adding a long necklace and my leather booties, I put on a little makeup and dry my hair so it’s wild and curly.
Checking my phone, I see Ally still hasn’t answered me, but I can’t wait any longer, I need food. Grabbing my purse, I put on my coat and scarf before stepping out onto the porch and locking the door.
Damn, I think it’s gotten even colder.
Pulling my coat together, I run to my car and blast the heat as soon as I get in.
People in Maine must have to wear bras at all times or else their nips would be hard as rocks and protruding through every layer of clothing. I’ve been known to let the girls go free when I’m just running errands and have on a sweatshirt or something. But I definitely couldn’t do that shit here. Nope. It would be VPs–visible nipples–even through the thick material of a sweatshirt.
After letting my car warm up for a few minutes, I start the trek through the darkness into town.
I guess I’ll go back to The Rusty Anchor. I sure as hell am not sitting at a full-blown restaurant by myself. I can blend into a bar way easier.
I’m just going to have to sit somewhere I won’t be bothered by any assholes thinking that I’m some whore up for grabs. I still don’t get that. Do I give off some slutty vibes or something? All I do is act normal. It’s not my fault if men read into what’s not there.
Pulling up to the bar, I wrap my scarf another time around my neck, and shove my hands into my coat pockets as I walk quickly inside.
Trying not to look around, I head straight to the bar, and sit at the far end against the wall. Unwrapping myself, I lay my coat and scarf on the stool next to me so no one gets the idea that it’s available, and push my curls away from my face. I give Alex a small smile when he sees me.
“You’re back already? Last night didn’t scare you off?” he asks.
“Nope. And I’m just here for food. I’ll be good, I promise.”
“We’ll see.” He smiles, handing me a menu.
“I don’t need it. I’ll have a cheeseburger, medium well, with fries and barbecue sauce, please. And a Bud, thanks.”
“No problem, gorgeous.”
Shaking my head, I lean against the wall and scan the room, curious to see if those guys are here again. Luckily, I don’t see anyone familiar.
I honestly don’t know when the last time I went out to eat on my own was, let alone braved a bar alone. Pulling out my phone, I busy myself scrolling through social media, not really caring what the people I knew fifteen years ago are doing, but at the same time, do. Seeing how happy and in love most of them are, and how they have these big important jobs in the city, makes me feel a little inadequate, and if I’m being honest, like a loser.
Sighing, I throw my phone back in my purse and look around again. A young couple sits at a table nearby, their heads together, smiling at each other with hearts in their eyes. Oh, young love. How naïve and pure. You think everything is perfect, and that it’ll stay that way, but then you learn the truth a short while later. The real world will test you, and throw you curve balls that will either make or break you as a couple.
Most don’t make it.
The times I thought I was madly in love all fizzled out the moment the first storm came.
But those two look really into each other, so I hope they make it. We need more love in this world.
“Here you go,” Alex says, placing my food and beer in front of me.
Oh my God, it looks and smells amazing. “Thank you.”
“Sure. Let me know if you need anything else.”
“I will.”
Dipping a fry into the barbecue sauce, I pop it in my mouth, and hold back a moan. It’s so good. Crispy and hot. Perfect.
The bar starts to fill up as I devour my burger, and I’m not ashamed to be shoving food in my mouth like I haven’t seen any in days.
