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“My other boss, those assholes the other night–take your pick.” Sighing, I take another sip of wine. “I was a paralegal for a really prestigious firm back home. I had worked there since I graduated college, and I loved it. But late one night–about six months ago–the partner that I worked closely with, cornered me. He thought that I had been flirting with him, and teasing him, all that time I was working there. But I wasn’t, and he didn’t take the rejection well. And because of him, I can’t get a job in my profession anywhere near where I live. He blackballed me.
“I went to school with a girl who works at another firm nearby, and she told me that my boss had told anyone who called for a reference that I was some homewrecker hoe looking to bed any and all of the wealthy men in the office.”
“Fucking asshole. I’m sorry, Ash.”
“It’s fine.” I shrug. “I’m used to men thinking I’m just some piece of ass that’s teasing them because I smile at them.”
“It’s not fine.” Ryan practically growls. “He wasn’t man enough to take the rejection, so he ruined your career. That’s not okay, Ash.”
“I know,” I whisper, taking a bigger gulp of wine than before. “But there’s nothing I can do about it. So why dwell on it?”
Rubbing his jaw, Ryan lets out a frustrated sigh. “Did he put his hands on you?”
“No, not him.”
“Then who?” he asks harshly, his eyes boring into mine.
“After my career was ruined, I moved back home with my mom and got a job bartending. It was fun, actually. I loved how busy it always was, and watching people get drunk and try and pick people up–it was fun.” I smile. “But Thursday was different. My manager asked me every night after work since I started if I wanted to go out with him. I always said no. Then Thursday, he was weird. Mad at me or something. And while we were cleaning up, he came up behind me and pinned me to the bar.”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I look away from Ryan. I can’t look at him while I tell him what happened. But for some reason, I want to tell him. I want him to know.
“He wrapped his arm around my waist and pushed himself against my back. He kept saying I wanted him, and that he knew it, and I was just denying it because he was my boss. Then he spun me around and grabbed me behind the neck.” Pausing, I reach up and rub the side of my neck that I know still bares the evidence. “And he kissed me. It was disgusting.” Shuddering, I continue. “When I finally got loose, I kneed him in the dick, and then punched him in the face as hard as I could.”
Ryan pulls my hand away from my neck and takes my hat off, moving my hair off of my shoulder. He pauses, immediately going rigid, and I can feel the anger rolling off of him in waves.
Turning me so he can get a better look, he brushes his fingers across my neck–replacing the harsh touch of another man with his gentler one. When I feel the warm press of his lips against my neck, I lean into his touch and sigh. Each finger print left behind by Rick, Ryan kisses. And for the first time in a very long time, I feel cared for.
Kneading his thumbs into the knots between my shoulders, I relax into his touch. I’ve felt like the world has been weighing me down over the past few months, but now it feels like a distant memory.
Kissing his way up my neck, a soft moan escapes my lips when he reaches the spot behind my ear. My pulse quickens under his touch, and he digs a little harder into my muscles. Pulling me back towards him, Ryan turns my face so he can look into my eyes. And it’s what I see there that makes my heartrate kick up to a speed I’m sure will make it give out.
Turning around to face him fully, the intensity of his gaze draws me in–hypnotic and controlling. I sit up on my knees, and he reaches for me, pulling me on top of him so I’m straddling his hips.
Lost in the swirling blues of his eyes, I lift my hands to his handsome face and trace his cheekbones with feather light fingertips. I make a sweep down the sides of his jaw, and slide my hands around his neck, leaning in, watching his eyes the entire time battle with restraint.
Just a whisper away, my bottom lip brushes his, and he tightens his grip on my hips.
It’s in this pause that I feel everything. The magnetic force pulling us together, the tightening of my chest, the rushing of my blood through my veins, and his pulse beneath my hands.
My body hums alive with a need I’ve never had before.
I give in to the pull, pressing my lips fully to his, melting on impact. Ryan wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me flush against his rock-solid torso.
The little control I had flies out the window and gets lost in the snow storm as Ryan’s tongue slides across the seam of my lips. Opening for him, he slips inside my mouth, and we both moan on contact, the taste of wine on his tongue forming an addiction I didn’t even know possible.
Sliding his hands down my back, he skims the sliver of skin exposed between my sweatshirt and pants. His touch sears me, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
Ryan pulls back, and I gasp for air as he kisses his way across my jaw. Stretching my head to the side to give him better access, he swirls his tongue around the shell of my ear and sucks it into his mouth, biting down. Moaning, I give him the invitation he needs to lift my sweatshirt up and over my head.
Slowly, he unzips my fleece–his hot mouth leaving a trail of fire as he kisses, licks, and sucks his way down my neck.
The room is spinning, and my head is spinning. Dizzy, I close my eyes, and just let myself feel it all. My mind imprints this moment, knowing I’ll have to take it back out when I’m home again.
Home again.
That thought snaps me out of the hazy spell I’m under.
I can’t be with this man no matter how much I want to.
