AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Looking into the fire, I take a deep breath. I don’t know what possessed me to share that with him. I’ve never told anyone that before.
“Another thing I’ve never told anyone before,” I whisper, focusing on my soup.
“Ashley,” he finally says, and I look over at him, his eyes holding mine captive. “You’re smart, beautiful, driven, passionate, fierce, caring, and about a hundred other things I could list. I’m glad your dad made you promise him that, because you deserve the fucking world, not settling for mediocre.”
Yeah, I’ll find it. Sure. With someone else.
With someone who’s not him.
Blinking, I look away from his warm gaze. He’s being so nice, and all I can think about is how I wish it were him. But I already know it can never be him. I just need to ingrain that in my head more solidly.
And yet despite telling myself that this is all just temporary, and this is all just fun, I find myself hoping for the exact opposite. Those little fuckers called feelings have now fully creeped into my veins and settled in my heart.
Why? Why? Why?
“Thanks,” I say softly, acting like I’m more interested in my soup than him right now.
“Hey.” Turning my head back towards him, he searches my eyes.
“I’m fine. I just never talk about this stuff with anyone.”
Nodding, he releases my chin, and we both go back to eating our soup in silence.
But when I reach for a cracker, our hands clash, and I pull mine away, clearing my throat. “Tell me your biggest fear.”
“I don’t have one,” he says, biting into a saltine.
“Come on. I told you mine, despite the fact that I never wanted to admit any of that out loud.”
Sighing, he scratches his jaw and stares into the fire. “Fine. Dying on the job. I know it’s a cowardly thing to say, and I do mostly desk work and shit now, but I still go out there. And anything can happen. I can walk into any situation at any time, and it could be the end.”
“Ryan, it doesn’t make you weak to admit that. You risk your life every day for others. It’s literally your job to put your life ahead of others, and I find that incredibly heroic and selfless. And it doesn’t hurt that you look like walking sex in your uniform,” I tell him, making him smile, blinding me with his sexiness. “But it’s more than that, obviously,” I add, making sure he knows I’m serious.
“Obviously.” He smirks.
“I couldn’t do your job. Not many can. You’re brave, even when you don’t feel like you are. Remember that.”
“I will.” He smiles softly, biting into another cracker.
“Good.” I nod, and we go back to eating, this time a comfortable silence between us.
I watch the flames dance and crackle in the fireplace as my knee rests against Ryan’s. Connected in the most non sexiest of ways, and yet I feel it–the charge between us. Through our freaking knees.
The girl who always has something to say is silenced by the gentle touch of a man’s knee…
I’m screwed.
Taking a deep breath, I finish my bowl of soup and place it on the coffee table. I have so many things I want to ask him, that I want to know about him, but the words won’t form.
We’re already in murky waters, and knowing more about him is only going to muddy the waters further.
“I think I’ll go back to bed. Thanks for feeding me,” I say, standing. “Sorry for interrupting your work.”
“Don’t be.”
“Alright, goodnight.”
“’Night, Ashley.”
