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Chapter 1
This aisle feels like a longer walk than it did yesterday during the rehearsal. Then again, I wasn’t wearing heels, and there weren’t a hundred pairs of eyes staring at me.
My heels sink slightly into the grass as the burgundy bridesmaid dress I’m wearing billows out behind me, the slit up to my knee exposing my left leg as I walk.
The dress has a deep ‘v’ neckline with a tight bodice down to my waist that’s held up by thin spaghetti straps, and then falls loosely to the floor like water cascading down my body. My long dark hair is half up, with two loose braids on either side that swirl together in a bun, leaving the rest to flow in soft curls down my back. I haven’t felt so beautiful in a very long time.
I focus on keeping my breathing even and walking in a straight line, while looking at anything but the people staring at me.
Being the center of attention has always made me nervous, no matter how brief of a time. I’ve never been good with crowds, always preferring to watch from the outskirts and observe.
Jake and Ally’s backyard has been transformed into what I can only describe as an enchanted forest. The setting September sun glistens off the lake and casts a golden hue over everything it touches.
A floral arch sits right before the start of the dock, and as I get closer to the alter, my smile widens at my best friends already lined up on the left side of the officiant. To the right, stands a handsome Jake with his three brothers, all dressed in black suits with merlot ties to match our bridesmaid’s dresses.
I met Ryan and Tyler last summer, but Chris, the youngest, is a doctor in the Army, and was granted leave to come home for the wedding. So, this weekend is the first time myself, Ally, Ashley, and Elizabeth have all had the chance to meet him.
Chris is different than his brothers. He’s just as good looking, that’s for sure, but there’s something in his eyes that tells me he’s seen too much, and struggles with it. He’s been putting on a smile for everyone these past couple of days, but I see the damage lurking just below the surface.
I’ve volunteered every so often at a veteran’s hospital over the years, and he has a bit of the hollow look to his eyes as most of the men in there. War is getting to him.
I can’t imagine treating battlefield wounded soldiers over and over. It’s trauma in the cruelest and crudest of ways.
Taking my place with Elizabeth, Ashley, and Courtney, I watch Kelly and Marissa, Ally’s older sisters, make their way down the aisle. They’re just as beautiful as Ally, and as co-matron of honors, they’re both wearing crystal encrusted belts so they stand out a little more from Ellie, Ash, Courtney, and I.
Reaching us, they take their places in front of me, and the music changes, all heads turning to catch a glimpse of the bride as she takes her first steps towards us on the arm of Dr. Taylor. I love that Jake’s dad offered to do that for her, knowing she doesn’t speak to hers anymore.
I hate that she had to be dealt a shitty card in life with her dad. And because of that, I know I shouldn’t complain about the great parents I have, but being an only child means all of their attention is always directed at me. And lately, they’ve started to ask me about my love life–or lack thereof–more times than I can count. And that’s only increased in frequency this past month because of this weekend.
They think I work too much. Which to be fair, I do, but that’s only part of the problem. My friends would say it’s because I’m picky, and that I expect too much from men. But come on, expecting chemistry, romance, and respect, really isn’t asking much. And if it is, then I’ll just happily stay single.
Elizabeth, Ashley, Ally, and I have been best friends for something like thirteen years now, and they’ve told me countless times that real life will never measure up to the romance novels I love to read so much. But I can’t help it. Excuse me for thinking a man can be both thoughtful and romantic, while also being a wicked, dirty lover.
I know part of the problem lies with me, though, not just the men I’ve met. I keep to the safe choices. When Ididdate, I always went with the nice, sweet guys, who were great to talk to and were gentlemen, but then were clumsy in the bedroom.
I tried branching out once, and went on a date with a hot jock in college, but he had no clue how to hold a conversation outside of his workout routine and meal plans. I almost pulled a Houdini and snuck out in the middle of the date, but that would’ve been rude. So, needless to say, I definitely didn’t let it get far enough to see if he was a wicked, dirty lover, which meant I went back to my safe choices after that night.
I did almost give in once when I was drunk a couple of years ago to this mysterious guy at the dive bar near my house. He had tattoos from his wrists to his neck, and I wanted to see each and every one of them. His eyes told me he’d give me everything I needed, but that would be it. It would have been nothing more than a night of letting go of every inhibition I had.
It seemed like a good idea, but then in the morning, I knew I’d have to pick myself up and go back to my life. I couldn’t give a piece of myself away like that, knowing I’d never get it back. At least not with that guy. No matter how much I wish I could be, I’m not a one-night-stand kind of girl.
When I do date, I want more than a single night, and I want both sweet and dirty.
But I’m not holding my breath.
Shaking off my thoughts of dating and relationships, I focus back on the only one that matters at the moment.
Ally floats down the aisle towards her man, and I sneak a peek over to Jake and see him smiling like he’s the luckiest man in the world. And by the look in his eyes, he knows he is. It’s a look of complete and utter awe that he found a woman like Ally, and now he gets to keep her for the rest of his life.
Smiling, my eyes scan the crowd of people, and they’re all looking at Ally.
All except one.
One pair of emerald green eyes are focused on me, a little smirk lifting the corners of his mouth.
Alex.
He’s only a few rows back from the front, and I can see his jeweled eyes shining from here.
