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The air leaves my lungs and I float above us, seeing us tangled together, the look in his eyes, and the look in mine.
Both possessive, both satisfied, both on cloud 9.
With our mouths so close together, we breathe in each other’s air, and I’m lightheaded. Dizzy.
When I start to feel myself return to my body, I can feel all of Alex pressed against me, chest to hips, his weight a welcome comfort.
Pulling out and rolling us over in one move, I’m draped over his chest as my breathing evens out and my heart returns to a steady beat.
I stroke his chest lightly with the pads of my fingers, loving the hard expanse of his torso. So strong, and so sure beneath me, that it makes me feel almost small and dainty in comparison. Which I know I’m not.
“What does this one mean?” I ask him, stroking his tattoo on his right ribcage.
It’s a stemmed rose with a snake coiled around it, its mouth open and fangs extended, ready to strike.
It’s beautiful, yet fierce.
Alex strokes my hair down my back, playing with the ends. “It’s a reminder,” he says eventually.
“Of what?”
“That even the most beautiful and good things in life can be tainted by the evil and ugly in this world. Roses are delicate, feminine, and they grow with thorns to keep evil away. But when their thorns are taken from them, and stripped to just petals, that’s when the evil sneaks up and takes its strike. A snake waiting in the grass.”
I’m speechless. The meanings behind his tattoos continues to astound me. While others would look at them and think they’re just ink on skin, Alex uses them as reminders and symbols.
It’s beautiful.He’sbeautiful.
“And what does that mean for you?” I ask softly, even though I think I already know.
“My mom,” he says, and I hear the barely restrained emotion thick in his voice. “I got it on the one-year anniversary of her death. She was such a beautiful person. A ray of sunshine in my life when everything else seemed like darkness. She put up with so much shit from my dad that I have no idea how she still managed to smile and love me. I mean, I was a piece of him, and yet she always showered me in love.”
“You’re not your dad, Alex,” I tell him, needing him to stop seeing himself like that. “She loved you because you were a piece ofher, not him.”
“She survived him,” he continues. “He tried to strip her of her thorns, but she held them tightly and survived. Then the cancer came and took away all her defenses.”
“She was a delicate flower in a field of waiting snakes.”
“Yes,” he whispers, stroking my hair. “Death took her. The only light I had in my life was snuffed out and I was left in the dark. I don’t know why the world had to take the only good and steady thing I had. She encouraged me to be and do whatever I wanted in life. That’s why I couldn’t go back to school after. I had no reason to. No desire to.”
“What were you going for?”
“Business.”
“Well, you do run a business.”
“I guess.”
“Alex,” I start, needing to make sure I choose what I say carefully. “You are a good man. You’re everything your mom would want you to be. I think you’re amazing. You’re kind, honest, thoughtful, caring, hardworking, and so much more. You live life the way you want and don’t apologize for it. You’ve shown me that, and that’s one of my favorite things about you.”
“One of?” he asks, tugging the ends of my hair so I’ll look up at him. “Tell me the others.”
“Alex.” I smile softly.
“Please, baby.” His hooded eyes have me biting my lip, and I lay my head back on his chest and go back to stroking his tattoo before answering.
“You care. You listen to what I say, and I see that you actually care about what I’m telling you, and how I’m feeling. That’s important to me. I’ve never had that.”
“Mel,” he starts, but stops, letting me finish.
