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Chapter 1
All I wanted to do tonight was have a few drinks with my coworkers after our shift, and then go home to my man. Whenever I have to stay at work later than him, or go out after like tonight, I look forward to the moment I get to crawl into bed with him. His arms wrap around me instantly, and he smooths his hands through my hair until I fall soundly asleep.
It’s our thing.
And yet here I am, alone in some random hotel room, crying in the shower while I try and tell myself that castration and murder is not a solution – no matter how tempting the notion.
I didn’t know where else to go considering it’s after one in the morning, and I don’t have anything with me other than my purse. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to spend another second in a room with that lying, cheating bastard, and the bitch from work who he chose to screw inourbed.
I had to leave.
How could Kyle do this to me? I thought we were in love. I thought we were real. I thought…
I guess I don’t know what I thought.
Maybe moving in with each other after only dating for eight months was a little crazy, but I really thought we were good. I thought we were on track to marriage. But apparently it was all in my head, because he’s been cheating on me for the past two months – the entire time we’ve been living together – and I had no idea.
No inkling.
Nothing.
Lifting my face to the hot spray of water, I let it wash away my tears until I’m all cried out, and my pain morphs into burning anger and hatred.
I like that better. It’s easier to deal with, and focus on, than the ache in my chest.
Wrapping myself in one of the hotel’s robes, I climb up on the bed and hug a pillow to my chest. I turn the TV on for some background noise and lean my head back against the headboard, a single tear sliding down my cheek.
Either he’s a really good liar, or I’ve been dumb, deaf, and blind to what we really were this entire time.
I’m going with it being my stupidity. I’ve always just jumped into things feet first, without looking to see how far the fall was, or how hard the landing.
It’s a bad habit of mine that I need to learn to break. The amount of times I’ve let my emotions rule me instead of my head, and the amount of times that it has left me burned, bruised, or just a little broken because of it…I’ve lost count.
I’ve always had the ability to just pick myself up and moved on, hoping that next time it’ll be different. But with this…I don’t know.
I’m alone here. I don’t have anyone else.
A few more tears escape the corners of my eyes, and I focus on keeping my breathing even, and keeping the heavy pressing sensation in my chest at bay.
Eventually, my eyes grow heavy, and I crawl under the comforter, letting sleep take over my exhausted brain. I can only hope when I wake up, this entire night turns out to have been just a cruel nightmare.
Startled awake, my eyes scan the unfamiliar room I’m in, landing on the clock next to me reading 5:00am.
Groaning, I roll over and burry my face in the pillow as last night floods my brain, my chest automatically tightening.
I pinch my eyes closed, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t fall back asleep.
Popping one eye open again, I stare at the painting of a mountain landscape on the wall – my mind wandering to an empty space inside of myself where I think of everything, and nothing, simultaneously. And by the time I look at the clock again, it’s already after seven.
Kyle should be leaving for the restaurant soon to prep for a big lunch that’s happening today, which will give me the opportunity I need to go back for my things. Where I’ll go after that, I have no clue, but I’m sure as hell not leaving anything of mine behind with that asshole.
Releasing a rush of air, I throw the covers off of me and get out of bed, tightening the robe around my body. The back of it is damp from falling asleep with wet hair, and without the warmth of the comforter, shivers start to rack my body.
I let the robe fall to the bathroom floor and throw my hair up in a messy bun, stepping under the hot stream of water. I keep my arms wrapped around my middle until the shaking stops.
When I’ve warmed up, I wrap myself in a fluffy towel, and then realize I’ll be forced to re-dress in my work uniform from last night. I really need to get back for some clean clothes.
My stomach is also starting to protest the fact that I haven’t eaten since yesterday afternoon, so after getting dressed and checking out of my room, I make sure to stop for a deliciously greasy breakfast.
