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“But don’t think we’re done here,” Ash tells me. “If you want Ty, then you need a plan.”
“The only plan I have right now is to hide in the kitchen all day,” I tell them. “I don’t need to hear the whispers and people asking about me.”
“We’ll be checking in on you later,” Mel says as her and Ash hug me.
“If you must,” I sigh, and they both leave.
This is why Tyler and I shouldn’t have started something. Us not working out has ramifications beyond just avoiding him around town. Ally is married to his brother, Ash is engaged to his other brother, and Mel works for his parents. Not to mention Courtney’s husband, Jack, is his best friend.
Staying in Pine Cove means I’ll see him all the time. I’m woven into the fabric of the people closest to Tyler, and while I would like nothing more than to entangle myself in him for more than the few weeks we had, I can’t just throw myself at him and ask him to have me. And to keep me.
I can’t just move again when he hurts me. The only other place I have to go is Florida, but I refuse to live with my parents at 30 because I was already forced to relocate twice due to man problems…
I don’t want to fail. Not anymore.
Here, I’m in business with Courtney, and I’m with my favorite people in the world. I don’t want to mess that up any more than I already might have.
Chapter 18
The next few days drag on, time no longer on my side. I thought work would help, but it hasn’t. Every time I look around – at the stove, the wall, the counter – I see him and I kissing, touching, and frantically needing and using each other in the best possibly way.
Now, the one place I usually find absolute solace and peace, has been compromised. I even asked Courtney to put me on every day so I wouldn’t have time to myself. But it hasn’t worked.
So, when Friday rolls around, and I’m still feeling like I’ve been punched in the chest, never really able to catch my breath, Courtney shoves a container at me.
“What’s this?” I ask, confused.
“Cookies.”
“Okay? Why are you handing me a huge Tupperware container of cookies?”
“I need you to take them to the firehouse.”
“What?”–my eyes widen–“No.” I try and shove the container back at her, but she steps away with her hands up.
“Nope. I need you to take it. I was supposed to send a batch in with Jack, but I needed to make more this morning first.”
“Courtney…”
“Tyler isn’t there,” she sighs, and I look down at the container.
“Okay, sure, I guess. You’re sure he’s not there today?”
“Yes, I’m sure. I need to start on a birthday cake, and the men need their cookies. Trust me, they get very cranky without their fix.”
“Fine.”
Taking my apron off, I throw it on the counter and head out. The firehouse is only down the block and to the right, and when I park to the side of the large bay garage door, I look around, trying to calm my heavy beating heart.
Climbing out of my car, I walk towards the front door, my back ramrod straight. With my hand on the door handle, I take a deep breath, my body wound up and on high alert.
The temperature changes when I step inside. It’s colder, with cement and brick making up most of the building. To the left, is the station’s firetruck, all red and shiny like it was just washed, and I’m momentarily entranced by all the gadgets and accessories along the side.
“Can I help you?” The voice startles me, and I jump, my head turning to see an older man in standard issued navy work pants and a light grey Pine Cove Fire Dept. t-shirt. The last name James is embroidered on it with Chief above it. He was at the café when I set off the alarms.
“Oh, um, yes. I have cookies from Courtney.”
“You’re a godsend, young lady.” He smiles, reaching for the container. “I always tell Jack he did good marrying her.”
