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“I’m not. I’m mad.”
“Same thing.”
Growling out my frustration, I walk another few feet away, and then spin around. Why is this so hard?
“Why did you walk away?” he asks.
“Why did you let me?” I counter.
“You said you had a date with another man, El. You’re the one who made it clear you didn’t want me anymore.”
“I was confused! I didn’t know how you felt about me, Tyler. I would have been going back on our deal if I told you.”
“Told me what?” he asks, but I shake my head, not sure if I should tell him now. “Fuck the deal we had, Ellie. I want to know what you wanted to tell me. Because I’m telling you now, I never wanted to be your friend.”
“You didn’t?”
“No,” he scoffs. “And we were never friends. You and I both know that.”
“I don’t know that.”
Tyler rubs the back of his neck. “Ellie,” he says softly, his eyes holding mine. “I’d have to be the biggest asshole in the world to tell you I wanted more before you were ready. I was already an asshole for pursuing you the same day you caught your boyfriend with someone else.” I look away. “See? You’re still hurting because of him, and I don’t want you to want me just because he was scum.”
“I’m not still hurting because of him, Tyler. I haven’t since the moment you erased him from my mind.”
“When did I do that?” He takes a step towards me again, and I hold my ground this time. His eyes are intense, not wanting to miss any emotion that flashes through mine.
“I don’t know. But it happened. You were just being you,” I whisper, and his eyes flare.
“Really? I’ve never done that before.”
“Good.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to be different.”
He backs me up against the truck behind me, his hands gripping the top of the bed of the pickup. With him this close to me, and the look in his eyes, the past two weeks I spent alone and missing him, disappear.
“You have no idea how I feel about you, do you?” he asks.
“How could I? You never said anything.”
“I told you every time I was with you. Every time I touched you, kissed you, held you. Every time I look at you, you know what I see?”
“What?” I breathe, my heart pounding.
“I see the most beautiful woman in the world. Inside and out. And when I see how you look at me”–he cups my cheek, rubbing his thumb back and forth–“I want to be the man you need. The man who would rather die than hurt you. But I already have.”
“No, it was me. I wanted to leave before you had the chance to.”
“Who said I would leave you?”
“It was inevitable. I didn’t think you’d want me for more than what we were.”
“I told you. We were never just friends. You know that. You ran because you thought I’d cheat on you.”
“I…”
