Page 34 of When We Lose


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He shifts his gaze to Kai, who witnesses the scene, emotionless.

My cheeks burn, my lips are dry, and my neck is tense. I don’t feel my limbs––I’m that anxious.

Kai notices my torment with a shred of satisfaction in his eyes. More than anything, he likes to see that my heart belongs to him, and no matter what happens to me and who is after me, he is the only man I’m after.

But am I?

The question seems ridiculous.

I can’t control how I feel in his presence, and most of the time, I’m about to blare it all out.

Luckily, the two men start talking, and I move my focus to my food. They discuss business, and I swiftly tune out.

I keep my fingers from shaking when Roman touches my hand, and I barely stifle a reaction.

“You can always come to me,” he says.

What is he talking about?

I’ve missed the context entirely. To come to him for what? And where exactly? To his place? His business? His house? His yacht?

It doesn’t matter.

Kai nods in agreement, and while I’m fully aware he is talking on my behalf, I can’t make myself ask the necessary questions.

I’m like a little blob of clay.

“All right,” he says before pushing his chair back and rising to his feet. “You know where to find me,” he adds, talking to Kai.

“Yes.”

With that, he swaggers away and soon occupies a seat at the bar.

“Are you okay?” Kai asks, leaning back in his seat.

He seems relaxed. And he probably is.

“Yes.”

“You seem a little nervous.”

“I’m not.”

Why would I be?

That man has transferred one million dollars to my bank account and changed my life in ways I never imagined.

He didn’t even spend much time with me, considering the money he had paid to have me.

I cost him one-hundredth of the one hundred million dollar deal he had made that day. I don’t know whether I should feel flattered, lucky, or cursed.

I don’t know whether I should jump up and down with glee or drown in sorrow.

I have nothing to regret, but that could change in a split moment.

And I’m afraid. Very afraid of how it could make me feel.

“He’s interesting,” I say, my eyes hovering over the table.

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