Page 71 of River of Flames

I waited, breath caught in my chest, until he continued.

"I did not think," he said at last, "that when I found her—when we found her—that there would be…anything else to consider. Anyone else to consider." He took a deep breath. "I have found you…very surprising."

I huffed. "Thanks."

"No." He shook his head. "I find myself torn. Wanting her freedom, yes…but wanting you…”

He trailed off and tapped one finger on the steering wheel. A muscle in his jaw worked, and he closed his eyes for a moment. "You," he said. "You cannot—you will not—be sacrificed for her."

"Amen to that," Theo mumbled.

"And so," Luca said, with a finality that sounded forced, "you must not empathize. You must not let her in." He let go of the steering wheel and turned around to face me. "With everything you have, River, you must separate yourself from her."

I stared at him with desperation. "How?" I asked. "I can't control it. It's not like I can just…not sleep."

But before he could answer, someone tapped on the window.

We all jumped, Theo letting out a startled yelp. Julian was standing at the driver's door, leaning on the roof of the car.

"Gonna sit there all day?" he said gruffly, his voice slightly muffled by the glass.

Luca glared, but opened the door, pushing Julian out of the way as he did so. I got out too, looking at Julian a little bashfully. "Hi," I said.

A slight smile touched his lips. "You look well," he said, reaching out to lay the back of his hand against my cheek.

My skin warmed at the contact, and the sensation of his touch lingered even after he withdrew. "Thanks to you."

"Come," he said, looking away. I thought I saw his eyes brighten, just a bit, at my words. "We have much to talk about."

We picked our way carefully across the stream. It was much easier in the daylight, and I felt like a kid, barefoot in the water, with my jeans rolled to my knees and my shoes dangling by the laces around my neck.

"You have trout around here?" Theo asked, glancing upstream, where the river widened and wound through the dense tree line.

I almost rolled my eyes. Theo liked to think he was a fisherman, owing largely to the expensive trips his family had taken to Alaska when we were teenagers, but I was pretty sure he didn't know a bass from a minnow. Still, it was kind of nice that he was making an effort at befriending Julian.

"Perch," Julian said, amusement touching the corners of his eyes. "I'll show you sometime, if you would like."

Seeing Theo light up at Julian's offer almost made me forget about everything hanging over my head.

"Sure," Theo said. "Yeah, that'd be great."

I glanced at Luca, who seemed to be ignoring the fishing conversation entirely, then turned my gaze to Julian. “Do you want to look at the book? We brought it with us…maybe there is something in it that could help?”

The amusement faded from his face, and he pushed the door open. “I doubt there is anything left in there for me to see. She appears to have transferred entirely into you. It was a book of recipes, if I remember correctly?”

I nodded as we all followed him into the cabin, but my spirits were sinking. If the book was now useless, what were we supposed to—

"We should start with that ritual you performed,” Luca broke in. “You will need to tell us everything you remember about what you did.” His voice was tight. "To Lilin."

Julian hesitated, looking at us with a grim expression. Finally he muttered something under his breath before turning and crossing the room to a wooden chest, unremarkable save for the ornate gold lock on its front. I saw no key, but somehow the lock clicked and sprung open. He paused for another moment, his hands resting on the lid, his broad shoulders tense. For a moment, he looked as though he might leap up and eject us from the cabin, but then he sighed and opened the chest.

I smelled the musty scent of old leather, of ancient paper, and was rocketed violently back to the instant I'd touched Lilin's book. I staggered backwards, panic rising in my throat, my vision going dark at the edges.

"River." Luca's voice at my side. I felt his hand on my left arm, Theo's on my right.

"Hey. Unicorn." Theo, gentle and reassuring. "It's okay. You're okay. Breathe."

I'm here. I took one deep breath, and then another. It wasn't Lilin at all, just my own fear clogging my throat. I'm still here.

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