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I worry about her. My princess’s recklessness scares the hell out of me.
She’s going to get herself killed.
So I’m torn every day between telling her how I still feel and telling her off. Maybe a little bit of both.
For now, I decide I’ll just do what I’m told and sit back in my captain’s chair like a good little servant.
Footsteps sound in the corridor outside, and my heart skips a beat at the idea that it might be Fiona. We used to sit for hours and talk as I piloted the ship manually, breaking my interface so I could talk about anything and everything with her. And I miss her conversation, sure…but I don’t miss her attitude. Her ignorance of what anyone else is feeling.
Her lack of care for anyone but herself.
So my reaction is mixed when I find it’s not Fiona, but Nereus stepping across the threshold, looking as gorgeous as always. Dressed in a long green tunic with a leather strap across his chest, his hair braided back from his face, he’s missing a lot of the makeup he used to wear every day.
The attack on Triton, and then the destruction of the Naiad, changed him. He’s been training with Ryker, Taln, and Orion to learn how to fight, and he’s taken to it more readily than I expected. Since I met him, he’s insisted that battle isn’t his job—war is the business of Merati women, while his role is to negotiate and play house.
He’s not doing that anymore.
None of us have the freedom to just do what we please anymore, and we won’t have options until Lamia is dead.
“We’re just about ready to get underway,” Nereus says quietly, taking a seat in the co-captain’s chair. “All our gear is aboard and the new crew is settling into their bunks.”
“New crew,” I echo, shaking my head. “Ner…do you ever think it was better when it was just the four of us? You, me, Taln, and Ryker, hopping around the galaxy. I didn’t think I would ever look back on that time so fondly, but…”
I trail off, shrugging my shoulders. I don’t know what to say.
He picks up on my meaning right away, though.
“I don’t regret taking her from Earth,” Nereus murmurs. “She’s a complex woman, but look how she’sgrown. And I love her. I know you can’t accept the choices she’s made, but–”
“She’s almost gotten us killed.Multiple times.” I sigh deeply. “She’s not an easy person to love.”
“Neither am I, but you’ve made it work,” Nereus says, a smile on his lips.
I reach out to take his hand, skimming my thumb over the fine blue veins and his long, graceful fingers. I still haven’t told him that the reason I was so angry is because I offered to run away with her–and she chose Ryker instead.
There was a time when I would have given up Nereus for Fiona.
What a stupid fucking choice that would have been.
Nereus sobers, his smile fading as I grip his hand. There’s noise in the corridor, Ryker’s booming laugh echoing off the walls. The Skoll warrior, at least, seems to be doing well with all the changes in our crew and our family–I don’t think any of the others are doing anything more than surviving.
“Will you stay after we’ve won?” Nereus asks suddenly.
I bark out a harsh laugh. “You seem awfully confident that we’ll all still be around when this is all over.”
Nereus chews on his lip, his brow furrowing, his eyes darting to the floor. Shit–I don’t want to make him cry. I’ve done it before.
I’m starting to think I might not be the nicest guy.
Maybe he would be better off if I dipped out for good.
“I’m being serious,” Nereus says. “I don’t…”
He pauses, and I turn in the chair so I can face him, taking his other hand. I have to be careful–my new prosthetics can pack quite a punch, and I haven’t learned their strength yet. “What, Ner?” I ask. “I’m sorry–I’m being a jerk.”
“You’re always a jerk,” he teases. But he doesn’t smile, his hold on me tightening. “What I was going to say is that I can’t imagine staying on Homeworld without you. And I know you were held prisoner there and that this must be frightening–”
“I’m fine,” I say, shaking my head, brushing him off.
