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And the only thing that keeps me from losing my mind is having her each night.
If she isn’t with another one of the men—and more and more, she prefers to spend her evenings with me—I’m in her bed, fucking her senseless. We spend fevered nights wrapped in each other’s arms, my cock always hard for her, her legs spread for me. If humans had the same kind of impulses my people do—which I must presume they don’t—I might believe that Fiona herself finds our liaisons therapeutic.
I feel like I was the only one who actuallywantedthe Elixir Ceremony before the battle on Alamancia, if only for the sake of easing my insatiable need for her. I want to belong to her, to bond with her, to be hers and for her to be mine.
I don’t know how the others live without being buried in her at least once every few cycles. Ineedher.
I meditate on the starboard deck of the Wrath as we embark for Hyperborean space, my eyes closed as I stare into the abyss. My flesh feels hot, stinging with desire even when Fiona is absent. When we were trapped on Alamancia without a ship, I was able to avoid her, but her scent is everywhere on this damnable ship.
“Hey, big guy,” a voice says from the door. “Mind if I interrupt you?”
I look over my shoulder to find Kye standing at the threshold from the corridor, framed in golden light from the lamps beyond him.
“Of course not,” I say. “Come in.”
He steps past the threshold and lets the door slide shut behind him, heading toward where I sit cross-legged on the floor. His metal foot doesn’t thud quite as loudly as it once did, his new tech far more advanced than the old; it’s somewhat jarring after spending so many years with the man. I’m not accustomed to his new gait.
Everything about this place feels strange and uncanny.
Kye takes a seat in one of the plush white sofas looking out onto space, leaning on his human arm with his chin in his hand. I sit quietly and wait for him to speak, trying my best to exercise patience as Taln always suggests…but he takes a second too long and I lose focus.
“You look troubled,” I say from the floor. “Did you come here to complain or are you going to interrupt my meditation to sit in silence?”
Kye gives me an exhausted smile, raking a hand back through his tousled dark hair. “Just haven’t caught up in a while.”
I chuckle low in my throat. “We don’t ‘catch up,’ Kye.”
“Hey, didn’t I save your life once upon a time?” he asks. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”
“Friendly enough that I know when you’re being evasive,” I mutter. “Tell me—what’s going on?”
“I guess I’m just…” He sighs, shrugging his shoulders. “...wondering how you do it.”
“Do what?”
“How you’re so calm and cool and seem so…I don’t know, comfortable?” Kye chews on his lip. “We’re riding into hell right now and you look just fine.”
I gawk at him. I didn’t know the cyborg had that kind of attraction toward me. “You think I’m fine?”
“Translator error,” he says. “I’m not coming onto you.”
“But you would be warranted in doing so,” I grin. “I am a—”
Kye raises his hand. “I’mgood, Ryker, really. No, what I’m trying to say is that it seems like you’re doing great—like you don’t care about the danger, or Fiona’s recklessness, or the fact that we could all be dead in a few weeks.”
My blood heats at Fiona’s name, and I take a deep breath to remain calm. I’ve managed to maintain a certain peace with Kye because he’s staked no claim on my mate—but I feel a sense of urgency to defend her, his tone making my skin crawl. “You believe Fiona is being reckless?” I say.
Now it’s Kye’s turn to gawk. “Don’t you? She almost got Taln killed. The attack on Triton happenedbecause of her.”
“You’re too quick to judge her, Kye,” I say, even though my heart is pounding. “She is faced with an impossible set of circumstances, and choices far beyond her years. Your criticisms are unwarranted.”
Kye pinches the bridge of his nose, letting out a deep breath. “Why did I even come here?” he mutters. “You’re the one who dragged her into danger…obviously you won’t see reason.”
I’m on my feet before I even process the movement, standing to my full height. On these Merati ships, my antlers almost brush the ceiling, but Kye doesn’t seem remotely intimidated even as my muscles bulge.
He just stares up at me.
Vacant.
