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Sure, that’s what I thought I wanted, but as the reality of the situation sinks in, I can’t help but feel more and more fucking scared.
I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. This is a good thing–a good thing for them and a good thing for me. I am in danger, but I'm also a danger.
I’m absolutely not willing to sacrifice their safety for mine.
I'm not okay with that.
“Okay,“ I say. “There’s no way for me to talk you out of this now, is there?“
“We believe that you’re a danger to yourself or to others right now, and you need to be under watch by qualified health workers to make sure that you don't hurt anyone,“ Dr. Shah says. “There are some criminal elements which a more qualified worker would be able to take care of.“
“Excuse me?“
“You're not well, Trine.“ Dr. Williams says. “If the police were to question you right now, they might think that the accident is your fault. You might not have the capacity to know whether it was your fault or not.“
I scoff, suddenly offended despite myself. I want to be argumentative, but they’re a brick wall, and I understand that this is something I’ve set up for myself.
The doctors are simply doing their jobs. They’re good at their jobs. They’re just doing their best to help me.
I need to speak to the exorcists before I go anywhere.
I just need to say that I'm sorry about all this. That suddenly seems like the most important thing I can do. I dragged them here and now I’m just…abandoning them. Yeah, for their own good, but that stings.
I know that from personal experience.
This time, I can’t blink the tears away. I’m going to cry. I’m not going to be able to stop myself.
“Can you tell them I’m sorry, please? When you talk to them?“
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Trine,“ Dr. Williams says.
I want to be grateful, but this man has no fucking idea the hell that I’m going to rain on all the people I care about if I stay around. So I can only hope that he does say I’m sorry.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.
But I can only hope that they forgive me.
MISHA
As soon as the doctor tells Aura that Trine is about to be transferred to a mental health facility, I realize what she's done.
Trine is smart, and it’s good that it’s the doctors who are telling us, because we would certainly try to talk her out of this.
She's pushing us away, to her own detriment. We needed to do this exorcism now, and there is no way to get her out of a mental health facility after the state decides she’s a danger to herself or others. Even if we said that we would look after her, she needs to be on suicide watch for at least seventy-two hours.
We won’t be able to see her as long as they think she's a danger to herself.
I don't know what she said but I assume it was bad if she was committed. Since we won’t be able to see her and it's obvious that we’re not going to be able to get her out, then all we can do is wait.
Her mom gives the three of us a meaningful look and we follow her to the cafeteria, where her husband, once again, makes himself scarce so he can go buy coffees for all of us. I assume that he’s used to that, seeing as he appears to do it with ease and doesn’t seem to mind very much at all.
Aura Dawes is an eccentric woman, so there is every chance that he’s simply gotten used to her idiosyncrasies, especially considering she's one of the biggest authors of the non-fiction and biographical content that’s specifically related to being possessed by demons.
You have to be pretty chill to be in a relationship with a high-profile person who’s been possessed. At least, I don’t know, I assume so.
“I did this,“ she says.
We’re sitting down at a long, skinny table in the cafeteria, near the window and a small serenity garden. It’s a nice space, but there's nothing quite as depressing as a hospital cafeteria.
