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Chapter 5
Tuesday
On Tuesday afternoon, after a day of networking and trying to keep my focus on my purpose in being there and not the handsome man waiting for me that evening, I hurried around my room, trying to prepare for a date. Bakari had texted that he wanted to take me somewhere away from the resort. I pulled a flowy sundress over my head and checked the full-length mirror next to the closet. Cute but not sexy. I looked like a pretty elementary teacher. Ugh. I didn’t bring anything sexy except my bathing suit and underwear. I flung through my suitcase, wishing I had hung everything up the way my best friend Kendra did every time we traveled so I could see everything I had brought with me.
Kendra. Another person I hurt. She moved to Chicago for a promotion a month after I met Nico. We used to laugh and say Nico was her replacement. We also used to say he and I were meant because our names were so similar. I’d shied away from her calls and texts shortly after my diagnosis. Then I worried she would pop up at my apartment unannounced demanding answers, especially when I lost my hair. I would periodically check in and give her evasive noncommittal responses whenever she asked about visiting each other. Like Nico, her calls and texts became more infrequent though she would reach out on my birthday and Christmas. My best friend would’ve known about Bakari the minute he spoke to me and would constantly send me texts needing updates. Like my brother, Kendra would tell me to let my hair down and have guiltless sex. Thinking of our closeness and how she would love to know that I was behaving unlike myself, I was overwhelmed by the need to hear her voice. Before I changed my mind, I dropped to the edge of my bed and called her.
Her voicemail picked up, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she would ever call me back. Not that I would blame her if she didn’t want to talk to me anymore.
My cell tinged.
Hey...give me a few minutes. Can’t wait to talk.
I smiled and took a calming breath. Kendra was still my friend. Maybe she would advise me what to wear like in old times. I couldn’t wait to hear her voice. By the time she called, I’d taken a quick shower and was wrapped in a towel. I grabbed my cell and propped myself on the soft headboard of the bed, eager to speak with my best friend.
“Must be about a man. This the only time you would ever call me on a Tuesday evening,” she teased when I answered the phone.
“I hate that you know me so well.”
“I do, which is why I’m not tripping on your shady behavior over the past year. Figure you’ll tell me one day.” Warm concern and worry dripped through the phone.
“I plan to once I get back to the states. Because of my foolish pride, I messed up our friendship. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
She said almost impatiently, “Nikki, I know that. I’ve been worried because it’s not like us to go so long without seeing each other or talking. I’ll be here whenever you are ready to tell me what’s happened. Right now, I need to know where you at. Don’t tell me you’re finally taking a real vacation out of the country. Hope that means you and Nico are back together.” We’d spoken enough for her to know I’d ended my relationship with him. She loved Nico and thought we were right for each other. I know she didn’t buy my excuse that I wasn’t ready for marriage, and he was, which ended our engagement. When I refused to offer further explanation, she left the conversation alone.
“No, Nico and I aren’t together. I’m in Jamaica for a work conference, and I met this guy.”
“I’m always going to be Team Nico, but I’m open to someone new.”
I said forlornly, “I have no choice now. Nico is engaged.”
“When did he get engaged? How do you know? To who? Are you okay?” She asked the questions in rapid-fire succession.
“I don’t know when he got engaged, but I saw him three months ago with a woman whose name I refuse to remember. Some days I ache like we broke up this morning, and others, I’m good.”
“Nikki, you should’ve called me. I know how much he meant to you. Heartbreak can be an unforgiving, relentless hurt that seems never-ending. I don’t know why you pulled away from Nico, from me, but I am always here for you.”
I wiped my eyes. “What did I ever do to deserve a friend like you?”
Kendra teased, “Everyone deserves a friend like me.”
“No, I’m serious. I broke your heart too.”
She sighed heavily. “Mmm...you called me about a guy you must really like, or you wouldn’t have called me.”
“Ken, I’m sorry. I promise to do better.”
“I didn’t say that for you to keep apologizing. Girl, you and I are fine. I meant you never call me about a man unless you’re into him. I’m trying to hear more about this man. Get a clue.”
I placed one of my legs under my other and smiled, thinking of Bakari. “I am. I really am into him. And apparently, I like them young now. He’s twenty-seven.”
She asked incredulously, “He hasn’t hit thirty yet? How long you’ve been in Jamaica?”
“Since Sunday.”
“And you already smitten? He must be the first man you’ve been interested in since Nico.”
“Or maybe it’s because we’ve had sex several times since Sunday, and you know how I am once I have sex.”
