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I waved an unenthusiastic hand. “Naw...he’s gone. He’s probably married or here with a woman. A man that sexy is never alone and definitely not on vacation in Jamaica.”
“Or maybe he’s like you traveling for work. He might be a part of the conference.”
“I’m at an engineering conference. Most men here are married or too consumed in their work to notice women. That man will always notice women.”
“The fact that you’re calling me tells me he made an impression. Don’t block before you cock.”
I laughed out loud. “Why do I call you? Did you just make that up?”
“I did. But this is what you have done since you broke up with Nico. Every time a decent man approaches you, or you’re interested in someone, you have a million reasons why it won’t work. You stop it before you even see if he’s a possibility. Nik, you haven’t been on one date since you broke up. You’re obviously still hung up on Nico. Just call him.”
My stomach clenched painfully at hearing my ex’s name. “He’s engaged to be married. It’s too late.” I’d run into him and his fiancé at a coffee house near my job three months ago and hadn’t been able to erase the memory of seeing him with a woman who should’ve been me. I called off work and must have cried for two days straight.
“Never too late if you still love him.”
I sat forward. “I hurt Nico, and it’s been two years. He’s way over me if he’s marrying someone else. Doesn’t a ring on another woman’s hand mean he’s done with me?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe? You’re getting married too in a few months. Please tell me you only have feelings for Christiana. You’re my brother, but I’ll kick your ass for my future sister-in-law.” My brother had a penchant for the wrong women, who I’d never liked until Christiana. We connected the moment we met three years ago. I couldn’t be happier when he told me the two planned to marry.
“Yet, you won’t agree to be a bridesmaid,” he reminded.
“It’s enough, my brother, who never cared about marriage, is getting married before me, but I don’t have it in me to walk down the aisle in front of everyone after canceling my own wedding.”
“I don’t understand you. You act like Nico fucked up your relationship when you ended things because you weren’t ready. You’re my only sister, and it’s my wedding. Can you get over yourself and be there for me at least once?” he asked testily.
“Once? Once? Seriously, Tavaris? I finally make a decision just for me, and you forget all I’ve done for you and everyone else over the years.” A couple of tourists, also waiting for the shuttle, turned their heads toward me. I lowered my voice, “Look, I can’t talk about this right now. I’m waiting for a shuttle. I need to go.” I ended the call before he could respond, and an argument would ensue. Tears pricked my lids, and I consoled myself that soon I would be able to sit by the beach and let go of all the frustration and pain.
**
TWENTY-FIVE MINUTESlater, I finally arrived at my pleasant, bright, cozy suite. A yellow comforter-covered queen bed centered the room on one wall, and each suite had a private balcony overlooking the ocean nearby. I hurriedly changed into my orange two-piece and coordinating mesh cover-up. I then pulled my shoulder-length relaxed hair in a ponytail, grabbed my tote and iPad, and rushed to the beach. Luckily, my building was directly behind the beach, and instead of the constructed path, I took a shortcut across the grass to the sand so I didn’t have to walk as far. I wanted to at least soak in a few rays of sun before the day ended. Hopefully have a drink and a snack, and gather my thoughts by the water.
I waved my hand at a service staff who strolled past and held empty glasses in his hand. “Is it too late to order?”
The young, dark-skinned gentleman with short dreads smiled flirtatiously. “For such a beautiful woman like yourself, never. I’m Drake, and I’ll be your server on this side of the beach. We serve until sundown, and then you’ll have to eat and drink at any of our seven restaurants on site. Or you can order room service from our limited menu. However, I’m always here, roaming the beach or in that building. Security is also there.” He pointed to a small building between the larger structures that housed the suites. “If you need anything, let me know.”
“Well, right now. I need your sweetest alcoholic drink and jerk wings if you have them.”
He smiled again. “Let me suggest a Bob Marley, an island favorite, and it’s refreshing. We also have the best wings on the island.”
My stomach grumbled, alerting me that it had been hours since I had the beef patty at the airport when I first landed in Montego Bay. “Ooh...I heard about that drink. Wings and a Bob Marley. Can’t wait. Thank you, Drake.”
For the first time since I landed, I appreciated that I was in beautiful Jamaica for a conference. A country I’d never had the opportunity to visit until now. I settled in my lounge chair on the beach, taking in the salt air and the white sands, watching the pinkish-orange sky of the day, making way for the dark blue of night. I pulled out my tablet, feeling inspired that I would get some new ideas for my promotional project before the sun completely set. Guests were picking up their belongings, heading back to their suites, and preparing for their ending when I was just beginning. Soon I would be able to just breathe. I inhaled deeply and almost choked. The stranger from earlier walked along the shoreline next to a young light-skinned woman wearing the tiniest of hot pink bikinis and wearing it well. They made a striking pair, and I shook my head, feeling an unexplainable loss.
I quickly called my brother, knowing he would answer despite our tiff earlier. “Yep. Told you. The man I met earlier is with a woman.”
“And? Tomorrow is day one at a conference full of men. Plenty of fish.” He paused a beat. “Glad you called back. Sorry about earlier. You’ve always sacrificed for Dad and me. I was in my feelings because I want you to be happy, and not being a part of my wedding feels like you’re not.”
“I may not be happy, but I’m content in my life. Sooner or later, I’ll meet someone else. Walking down the aisle in the same church I would have for my wedding is still more than I can handle, whether you understand or not. I don’t want to be a bumbling mess when that day is so not about me.”
“Hey, I do understand. Just you showing up to my wedding is being there for me, okay?”
“Thank you.” Although my brother and I were only a year apart, we were never close until my mother died during our last years in high school. After that, we became the best of friends, inseparable. We were roommates in college and after graduation until I received a job opportunity in Ohio. I left him and my dad in Oklahoma City seven years ago.
“Where are you now?”
“Happy to tell you I’m lounging at the beach waiting for a drink and wings.”
