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They walked out of the surgery to the car side by side, yet in all their years of marriage Kate had never felt they were so far apart. No matter what life had thrown at them before, they’d weathered it as a team. More than that, they’d always brought the best out in each other. But now everything felt different.
They drove home in silence bar the quiet classical music on the radio. Robin attempted to engage Kate in conversation but each time she cut him off with a one-word answer.
The sky was steel grey, the light flat. Robin tried hard not to, but he couldn’t help but think of Ally. It had been weeks since he’d spoken to her. They’d met at a work function years ago and had managed to conduct their affair without anyone knowing, or so he had assumed. Robin still had the excuse of travelling to London for the occasional meeting, where they would see each other, mostly for lunch and a short walk in the park before returning to her flat for a time before Robin headed home.
Things had got more complicated when Ally had decided to move out of London, retiring from her City job. She sat on various boards of museums and foundations, which meant she still had an excuse to be in town, but she wasn’t there as often as she’d once been.
Still, they’d continued to see each other when they could, always meeting in town and travelling back together to the station near her home. He loved Kate, too, but Ally was so different from Kate. They talked endlessly. She made no demands. And, of course, the sex was better.
But since Billy’s death, he’d not been able to bring himself to call her. And she hadn’t been in touch – why would she? She’d always left it to Robin to make contact. Sadly, he realised what he missed most was having someone to talk to. Kate seemed to be disappearing before his eyes, moving further and further away.
The thought of Billy made him ache for a time when they’d all been together, before the children had grown up and moved away, when they were happy as a family of four. He missed that terribly now.
Robin looked across at Kate, lost in her own thoughts as she stared out of the window. How he wished he could reach across, touch her face, but the gap felt too wide.
She’d always loved him unconditionally and he, in turn, had been foolish. He’d put the greatest love he’d ever known at risk for purely selfish reasons. Seeing her now, and with everything that had happened, he knew it was up to him to help bring Kate back to life.
18
Mack had opened the shop as usual and was just sorting through the deliveries in the back room when Johnny walked in.
‘Morning, Mack.’
‘Morning. I’ll be out in a minute,’ he called back.
‘No rush. I’ll just go through the numbers and have a look at what’s come in.’ He helped himself to a cup of predictably strong coffee on his way past the counter, then took up his usual post, perched at the tasting table with his laptop open before the shop got busy with customers. Trade had picked up lately but Johnny didn’t want to push Flora too hard. She seemed to be getting back into some sort of routine, but he was conscious that it would take time.
‘How’s Flora doing?’ asked Mack, as if reading his mind.
‘Good, thanks. She seems much better. I mean, she’s still not sleeping brilliantly. And I know she’s emotionally pretty exhausted but she’s keen to try and keep busy. Having said that, she’s not coming in today. She’s meeting up with her friends for a long walk on the beach this morning, so I told her not to worry about coming in if she didn’t want to.’
‘Ah, right. Well, one day at a time. How are the orders looking? Do I need to get the van?’
‘Yes, you do, I’m glad to say. But I’ll do the run today, Mack. I need you to do something else for me whilst I’m out.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Write down which wines to try if we’re going to Venice.’
‘When are you going to Venice?’
‘Well, if it’s all right with you I thought I’d take Flora out for a long weekend next month, before we get really busy in the shop in the run-up to Christmas. She went there with her parents and Billy when she was much younger. She used to talk about it sometimes; she obviously loved it. Apparently, Robin insisted on driving them across Europe in their old Morris Traveller to visit the only place where you can’t have cars. Anyway, I thought she might like a change of scene and I reckon Venice can provide that. Also thought it might be nice for her to go to somewhere that she once went with Billy.’
‘Well, that is…’ Mack left it there.
‘What? You don’t sound convinced. Not a good idea?’
‘Definitely your call, Johnny. It’s just that… don’t expect too much. Not yet, anyway.’
‘Understood. Absolutely no expectations. I just thought she might like it. We’ve never been together, and it’s not too far so we can do it over a long weekend.’
‘You’re a good man, Johnny. I’ll make a list whilst you’re out.’ Mack smiled but his heart sank a little, knowing they had a long road ahead.
* * *
The three friends walked along the stony beach, the clatter of pebbles beneath their feet. Waves gently rolled in on the rising tide, a soothing soundtrack to their conversation.
Tilda and Susie had been a near-constant source of support for Flora since Billy’s death. Susie had supplied endless meals for the freezer, Tilda had taken it upon herself to message Flora every single day with something to try to make her smile, from cat GIFs to crude jokes. And between them they’d taken the kids off Flora and Johnny’s hands for various trips to the park at least a couple of times a week. Flora didn’t know what she would have done without them.
