AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Congratulations, by the way. You’re a lucky man.” I too stand, offering my hand to Max.
But he surprises me as he draws me in for an unexpected hug. “We’re all blinded at one stage or another in our lives, but now it’s time to go find your light.” He adds softly, “I saw her minutes ago, sitting by the shore. Alone.”
With that, we break apart, and the wisest man I know goes in search of his light while I go find mine.
Hunter is lingering near Mary, so I gesture I’m going for a walk. He nods before raising his fist in the air. As ridiculous as we look, I fist-bump the air and so does he. But he gets it. He gets that it’s finally time.
Without delay, I excuse myself through the sea of people, but most turn the other way when they see me coming, most likely afraid I’ll speak gibberish and drool on their shoes. Once I step outside, I use my hand to shield the sunlight from my eyes, and just like always, I’m drawn to her.
I see her sitting along the shoreline, her knees drawn up to her chest. She appears to be lost in thought as she stares out into the ocean. Taking a moment to appreciate her beauty, I’m thankful for the day I met her. Even after everything we’ve been through, I’ll never regret all the times, good and bad, that we’ve shared.
My pace is measured as I walk toward her, my palms sweating and my legs like lead. But I push on, needing this more than I ever have before. Needingher. That invisible, ever-present pull is like a whirlpool of emotions, and just as I swallow hard, she turns over her shoulder, her mouth parting.
She can see my resolve, and the trembling of her fingers as she brushes back her hair indicates she knows I’m not going anywhere until we talk. I stop a few feet away, interlacing my hands behind my back so she can’t see my nerves. Our eyes connect, but no words are spoken. Not yet. We both need to regain our thoughts.
She digs her tiny feet into the sand, appearing to want to tunnel her way out of here as she turns her attention back to the water.
“Madison…” I finally speak, but my voice sounds unlike my own. She doesn’t turn to face me, but that’s okay. She will when she’s ready.
Feeling ridiculous hovering over her, I sit, ensuring I’m not too close, not wanting to smother her. “I don’t know where we go from here, Maddy. I meant every word I said. I still…love you. I never stopped. And the prospect of going home without you is an empty one.” I exhale a deep breath, looking out into the clear water as I lean back on my hands.
Her unresponsiveness has me filling the silence. “Max just told me we have to believe we’ve lost everything to appreciate what we had. And he’s right. But my question is, have I? Have I lost you…angelo?”
I’m too afraid to look at her; too afraid of what her answer will be because honestly, if she tells me yes, then I don’t know how I’ll go on. This isn’t the way our story is supposed to end.
However, when one minute turns into two, I can’t endure the silence any longer. I push off my hands, ready to stand and accept that this might actually be the end. But when Madison finally turns, I stop dead in my tracks. Her gentle eyes are puffy, and her nose is colored a bright red. She looks just how I feel—broken.
“No.”
That one single word bears so much weight that I can’t help but swallow. “No?” I question, unsure what no means.
“No, Dixon, you haven’t lost me.” Although those words were as soft as a feather, I know I heard them. I know I heard what I’ve been dreaming about since she left.
I take a second to process it all because although I haven’t lost her, that doesn’t mean she wants me back. Or does it?
“I miss you so much,” she confesses on a strangled, defeated sob. “I don’t understand. It’s getting worse instead of better. I th-thought the distance would make it all go away, but it hasn’t. The distance has just made me miss you more. I see you everywhere.” Her lower lip quakes. “You’re the store clerk at my local store; you’re the mailman. You’re even my damn dentist. Everywhere I look, I see you. I know it’s just my mind playing tricks, but it’s got to mean something, right?”
In an attempt to stop her cries, she places a fist in front of her mouth, but her cries—in a bittersweet, morbid way—are a balm to my blistering soul.
She’s right. It does mean something. It means she’s as miserable as I am. “Maddy, just come home. Come home withme. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but let’s try to figure it out together. I don’t want to live without you. I can’t. I can’t breathe without you,angelo. Please, breathe new life into me.”
Tears cascade down her soft skin as she silently weeps. I want so badly to comfort her, but I don’t.
“Do you still love me, Maddy?”
It’s a simple question. One which will change how the next thirty seconds plays out.
Her hesitation has me sucking in a choked breath. “Maddy…do you still love me?” I repeat, pinning her with my desperate stare.
“It’s not that simple. What happened between us…” But she suddenly stops.
“I know that, and I would never expect you to forget what I did. But I need to know…do you…still…love me?”
She closes her eyes, lowering her chin to her chest.
The fact she can’t answer this question kills me, and the waves crashing along the shore drown out the hammering of my heart. If she doesn’t answer me soon, I’m sure to…
“Yes, Dixon…” she whispers, finally turning to look at me. “I still love you. I never stopped. I tried to, but it was like fighting nature—it’s impossible. If possible, I love you more than I did the day I left. I’ve grown and changed, and so has my love for you. I’m so lost without you.”
