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“No room downstairs,” Malachi says. “If you stay, you stay up here. With me.”
A smile passes over me, my insides remembering that man who fucked me and said thank you for the privilege. I wasn’t with him, though. Not all the time, anyway. I can remember it clearly now. Gray. That’s who I was with, who I yearned for. My gaze drifts over to him. Shoes. Thighs. Waist. I hover at the belt, wondering what’s behind the trousers it’s holding up, and then keep going until I reach his face. That feeling’s still there. The one that somehow makes me want to crawl to him, hold him, be held by him.
“Fine, Malachi. As long as I can stay,” I murmur. Maybe Gray will stay too. Maybe he’ll look after me again, give me more of that sensation. We could fuck then. Get involved in something he seems to deny for reasons unknown.
“Whimsical,” Malachi eventually says, moving away from me towards Gray. “Or irrational.”
The scowl on Gray’s face tells me he’s not happy about something. I don’t care about that. I’m here. And it’s exactly where I’m staying until I’m ready to leave.
Chapter 20
Gray
The damned face smirking at me, as he fills another drink, is almost enough for me to knock it off his head. I shake my own and start backing out of the room, eyes snatching a last glance at her on the chair. She hasn’t got any damn idea what she’s letting herself in for now, but that isn’t my problem anymore. I waited for a while in the room, gave them time to discuss matters between themselves. Perhaps I hoped she would make the correct choice when she saw him again, become too scared of him to stay and opt for leaving with me instead of her rash impulses.
That clearly isn’t happening.
She stares as I retreat, hollow features still seeming motionless and inert, and gives me nothing other than that in return. The muscles in my legs pull to a halt, the same desire raging through me as always around her. It’s not reasonable, or acceptable, and I have nothing to argue with now. No claim to stake. Still, I gaze, taking in the lines of her features, for some reason connected to them. What is that? Hope maybe.
A yearning for something I can’t have.
Another look at Malachi and I turn to leave, forcing myself across the room. She’s made her choice, and it’s something I won’t fall into with her. Watching her with others I could have done, but the friendship with Malachi and I, and the incessant decadence he could lead me into, aren’t things I’m willing to play games with. I can’t. Won’t. My obligations are elsewhere. They always were other than these few days I was willing to give her. She can have her fun without me now. Live it for as long as she can take his kind of sport.
I’m about to head through the door when her laughing catches me off guard. I frown and look back at her, watching as she makes her way to me. Slow strides, her shoulders moving with a relaxed grace. My dick hardens at the sight of it, eyes lingering on her hand as runs it over her stomach.
“I thought you liked to watch,” she murmurs, bringing the drink to her lips. “It won’t be the same if you’re not watching me. I never saw your eyes. Only the screen between us.” She looks at me over the top of the glass, lips nibbling at it, tempting me, and then Malachi comes along to join her. “You could just watch the once. Let me see your eyes while he fucks me, Gray. I thought you were my hero. Heroes don’t abandon their damsel.”
Fucking is the last of her worries with Malachi.
He chuckles at her attitude and puts his hand on her shoulder, drawing her back to him. The distance he’s creating isn’t for her benefit, it’s for mine. No connection. Nothing other than watching, no matter how seductive she might be. But his mouth goes to her skin, teeth biting softly into the side of her neck to wind me up.
I stall, wondering what he’s playing at. We’ve already discussed his thoughts. I’m not doing his idea of making this easier on me, no matter how appealing the thought of that kind of stupidity. And staying without that thought will push me passed boundaries I cannot cross.
Still, the moment’s on me again now, the thought riding my skin again with more realism involved. I watch, as he slips the bra strap off her shoulder, and scowl at the situation he’s putting us in. “Stop it, Malachi.”
“No.”
His hand moves fast, grabbing her chin and wrenching her head sideways. She stumbles in his hold, eyes wide and both sets of her fingers gripping into his forearm to keep her on her feet. I stand motionless, refusing to be baited into showing care. I watch, though. I watch like I’ve never watched before – contrived by my own reaction to her.
She groans and goes limp in his grasp. No fight. No rejection of his handling. I’m not surprised. She handled Dillon well, went numb to his hold just like she will be doing now by looking up at me. She’s staring, bedding herself into me regardless of the fact the drugs will now be out of her, but then she’s slung sideways away from him with more force than necessary.
Every muscle I’ve got tenses, as I watch her fall to the floor and sprawl across it. I’m not rescuing her from this, though. If I do I’ll be dragged down a road I can’t handle and can’t honour either. The simple fact is - this is what she’s asked for.
“You’re being a fool, Gray,” Malachi’s voice says. I don’t look at him or react to the taunt. He’s not getting me to do what he wants. I’m not a puppet he can play with, nor am I willing to travel this tragedy he’s trying to force.
“I’m leaving, Mrs Tanner. You’re still welcome to come back with me.”
She doesn’t move, but for a small tilt of her head in my direction. Such pretty eyes. Dead. Lifeless. I stare, transfixed on her form, as she glares at me. I’ve never wanted a woman away from Malachi’s fun before. Never cared enough to even think it was required, but as she starts crawling backwards to Malachi’s feet, my muscles prime for an argument.
One hand goes to his leg, and she slowly pulls herself up until she’s on her knees. A slap rings off the side of her face before she’s got herself fully balanced, the force and shock of it sending her straight back to the floor again.
“Leave her alone.”
“No. You know how to stop this. I’ll listen if you ask.”
“You know I won’t.”
He grabs hold of her hair and drags her away from me, no care for her thrashing legs and arms, and tosses her towards a wall. Her head rebounds off it, a shriek coming out of her mouth because of the impact.
