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It was hard to concentrate when he was touching her. Sophia felt a little light-headed. She swallowed.
“He’s charming. And I like his company.”
“But beyond that?”
“Why does it matter?”
Thomas’ expression looked a little pained.
“Sophia …”
“If you’re asking, do I love him, or something like that? No, I don’t. I’m aware of his reputation, and I know he’s just trying to wear me down. I have more self-respect than that. But …”
“But what?”
Sophia sighed and pushed his hand away.
“I’m one-and-twenty years old. I’m not in a position where I can reject him.”
“Why would you think that? I thought you mentioned to me before that you wouldn’t marry for anything less than love. That was the only way you would give up what independence you had.”
He remembered? Sophia couldn’t remember the last time someone remembered something she said outside of the servants and Christiana’s family.
“The point is, you are in a position to reject him,” Thomas said.
“Why is that? What’s going on?”
He cupped her jaw, and Sophia had to stop herself from leaning into his touch, feeling the warmth of his palm. Then he pressed his lips to her forehead.
“I’m in love with you, Sophia. I don’t know when it happened, but it’s there, and it’s very real. I love you, and I want you to be my wife.” He tilted her head back to make her look at him, his expression solemn. “I can’t marry Aimee when I know how I feel. And I certainly can’t leave without telling you myself.”
Sophia felt like she had fallen into a dream and was refusing to wake up. Was Thomas really doing this? It took a moment for her to get any ability to talk back.
“What … you … you love me?”
“Is that so surprising to you?”
“It’s just … no gentleman really pays any attention to me.” Sophia felt her mouth going dry. “With my sisters around, I’m mostly discarded. Having a gentleman focused on me is … it’s new to me.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“I mean it. You and Mister Shore … I’ve not experienced that before. I don’t even know if this is real.”
“Trust me; it’s real.” Thomas bent his head and brushed his lips across hers. “I love you, Sophia, and when I make a proposal, I want it to be with the person I want. And that is you, not Aimee.”
“Aimee isn’t going to like that. This will humiliate her.”
“She’s not involved in this. Just say that you’ll marry me. Tell Pierce that you will not be with him anymore and come with me.”
Words stuck in Sophia’s throat. She really didn’t know what to do anymore. Part of her wanted her to say yes and not care about anything else, but the rest reminded her that Thomas was meant to marry Aimee, not her. She didn’t want to ruin things for her sister, regardless of her feelings about the situation.
“God, Sophia.” Thomas kissed her, holding her close against his chest. “You are so sweet, so kind. I love how you smile and how your eyes light up when you talk about something you enjoy. How adorable you look when you’re happy. I want to keep that. I want that for me, and I don’t care how selfish that sounds. To me, you’re perfect.”
Sophia was still speechless, but she couldn’t push Thomas away as he deepened the kiss. Every time she told herself she couldn’t keep doing this and needed to push him away, Thomas did something that made her melt again.
This was really wrong. And yet it felt like it was just right.
A rustling of clothes had Sophia breaking away, her heart jumping when she realised they were being watched. God, had they just been caught? Her parents were going to be furious.
