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“Um, yeah, that sounds good. I’ll bring the popcorn and beer. You get the pizza,” I tell my older sister as I grab my purse.
“Have you heard from him?” she asks, standing just over my shoulder.
“Not yet.” But I will. I know it. “I’m heading home to help Grandma peel peaches for pies. She says she has to make them tonight because it’s the only night she’s not watching Sex And The City reruns. How about you? Any big plans for this evening?”
“Wish I could join you, but I have an appointment with McIntire and Associates. I guess Roy is retiring and he’s assigning someone else my business taxes. I have to meet them tonight to go over the second quarter.” Snapping her fingers, she adds, “Which reminds me, I need to print off a profits and losses worksheet.” Absently, Payton starts to make a list on a loose piece of scratch paper.
Payton has occasionally complained about the stresses and headaches associated with being a business owner. Being single is for the best, or so she says. She’s not pulled between running her business and raising a family. There’s no guilt when she’s required to work late and no closing down the shop when the kids are sick.
Even though I see her resolve to her single ways, I can tell there’s something else there. Something that she keeps buried deep.
Longing.
She often changes the subject when marriage and kids are brought up, but I can see it. Maybe it’s because of my own disastrous relationship that I can so clearly see Pay’s mask that she keeps firmly locked in place so that no one can see her pain. Sure, I’ve brought it up before, but she refuses to talk about it. I won’t push her on it, though. At least not yet. When she’s ready to talk or explore a relationship, then I’ll be there for her, eager to discuss all the details. Until then, I’ll wait.
Stepping out through the back door, I’m not surprised when I find Ryan waiting for me at my car. He’s carrying a handful of wildflowers in one hand, and there’s no mistaking the appraising gleam in his eyes.
“Hi.” He hands me the small grouping of flowers, a small smile crossing his full lips.
“Hi,” I mimic. “Thank you.”
“I just happened to be coming into town from a job site when I came upon these growing alongside the road. My truck stopped all on its own.”
“All on its own, huh? And I suppose you had no control over yourself as you got out and picked them?” I ask, a playful twinkle in my eyes that matches his.
“No control whatsoever. But that’s nothing new. I find I have absolutely no control over myself when it comes to you.”
Ryan steps closer, invading my personal space. He smells like wood and fresh air mixed with a little sweat. Wearing a worn t-shirt and a dirty pair of jeans, he’s almost edible in that ‘I want to throw you down on the hood of my car and ravish your body’ way.
Seriously? Clearly, I’ve been hanging around Grandma too much.
“Sounds like a personal problem. I hear they make little pills for problems like that,” I retort, smiling sweetly.
Ryan’s hearty laugh fills the air, his brown eyes twinkling with amusement. Zeroing in on my lips, he steps even closer. His body is almost touching mine, his breath fanning across my forehead.
“Oh no, sweetheart. That’s not the problem I have. In fact, my problem is the complete opposite of that. I have positively no problem with not being able to rise for the occasion. In fact, the mere thought of you causes things to stand up and take notice. My body is humming and hard for you all the time. Every minute of every day. Hard. For. You.”
Just like that, the air around us changes. It sizzles and crackles with a sexually-charged current. Want zips through my body and lands at the junction of my legs. I can feel my body responding, wetness soaking my panties.
“And I know you want me too. I see it in your eyes, Jaime. I feel it in the way your touch sears my skin. My question to you is are you willing to explore that feeling? I’m not talking about jumping into bed, though that thought sounds pretty damn good right now. I’m talking about dating. I’m talking about dinner and movies and the occasional family outing. We’ll take this as slow as you need to, but I’m ready and I’m not going anywhere. I. Want. You.”
Ryan punctuates those words with a kiss. A consuming, bruising kiss that leaves me weak in the knees and yearning for the privacy of a bedroom. Gripping the back of his shirt, I hold on for dear life as his tongue sweeps across the seam of my lips. I open my mouth moments before his tongue plunges inside. His lips devour me, his mouth commanda me. It’s a delirious feeling to be so consumed that you have no control over your own actions.
A moan erupts from deep in his throat when I suck on his tongue. Ryan pulls me closer yet, his hands caressing my back, my neck.
Somewhere in the distance, a horn sounds, pulling me from the lust-induced spell he has me under. I startle, jumping back a fraction of an inch, unable to pull away since Ryan’s hands are wrapped tightly around me.
“Tell me you feel it, Jaime.” His words are husky, his eyes glazed with molten desire.
“I feel it.” My words are breathless and trembling.
“Will you trust me? Will you give us a chance? You set the pace. You set the boundaries. You are in control here. Just promise me you’ll try.”
I want to hesitate. I want to argue with myself about why this is the worst idea in the history of all ideas, but I can’t. Because at the end of the day, Ryan’s right. This feels right. He feels right. He and I together. And sure that’s scary as hell, and it’ll probably result in me left heartbroken, but the alternative seems unimaginable. Not being with Ryan seems completely impossible.
So I don’t hesitate. I nod my head, confirming what he already feels, what he hopes.
“I’ll try.”
