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“I know. But there’s something that I haven’t told him. Something that’ll change the way he feels about me.”
That has her attention. “What’s going on?”
And before I realize what’s happening, I’m spilling everything. I tell her everything about the demise of my relationship with Cole and the reason it won’t work with Dean. When I glance up, I see tears in her eyes and realize they match the ones sliding down my cheeks.
“You’ve been sitting on this for the last, what, six years? Why wouldn’t you tell us about this?”
“I wasn’t ready. It’s too painful. I had to give up a dream, and I mourned the loss for a while. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever really been ready to talk about it.”
After our pizza arrives, we eat in silence for a few moments before she speaks again. “You know, I think you’re making a mistake with Dean. I think you should tell him and let him be the judge of the state of your future. If he can’t handle it, then fine. Walk away. But what if that doesn’t matter to him?”
“It matters to everyone.”
“You don’t know that. You assume, and you know what Grandpa says about assume, right?” I give her the look as I wait for the line I already know is coming next. “You make an ass out of you and me.”
“Why are you being such a pain in the ass?”
“Because I’m your little sister and that’s my job. And you only think I’m a pain because you know I’m right, and you can’t stand that because you’re always right.”
“I am always right. I must be rubbing off on you.”
We laugh as we finish up our pizza, chatting about her work and making small talk. When I glance up at the clock, I realize it’s already almost nine. It always surprises me how fast time can fly when I’m with my sisters.
“I should go.”
“Heading home?”
“Yeah. I was invited to The Shed tonight to see Levi play, but I’m not feeling it,” she says with a shrug.
“Abs, don’t give up on him. I really think that you guys have something special, more than just a friendship. Don’t be afraid to explore that side, okay?”
She shrugs casually without committing. “Don’t be afraid to tell Dean your secret. Let him decide if it’s too much for him or not, okay?”
I can’t help but grin back at her. “You’re still a pain in my ass.”
“Ditto, big sister. D-i-t-t-o.”
“I love you,” I tell her as I pull her into a big hug.
“I love you too. I’ll talk to you soon,” she says before slipping out the back door. I watch as she walks to her car and heads out of the lot.
Knowing that my night is complete, that no work will be finished now, I flip off the lights and grab my stuff. I don’t even take home the folder with tomorrow’s order forms; I’m pretty sure I won’t get to them later either. Right now, all I want is my couch, comfy jammies, and a bottle of something hard.
Making sure all of the doors are secure, I head to my own car and climb inside. My phone vibrates in my purse, but I leave it there until I get home. Needing to concentrate on driving and not on the pending conversation I’m going to have with Dean, I forgo the phone and head home.
It’s been a long, exhausting, and emotional day, and the booze is calling.
