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I know that look and feeling all too well. When I woke up in the hospital, I did everything I could to not show fear. My parents arrived the morning after the injury and had enough worry and anxiety for all of us. So I kept my cool and composure, even though I was slowly dying inside.
Linkin runs back down the hallway to join the mother of his babies. Grandpa gets up and makes a fresh pot of coffee, pouring cups to anyone who wants one. My body is starting to ache from sitting on these hard plastic chairs, but I’m not complaining. I’m here, with AJ, during a major family moment, and I’ll be honest, it feels good. It’s been a long-damn time since I’ve felt this needed and wanted. Even with Carrie, she had so many people surrounding her, caring for her every whim and need, that she rarely asked me for anything. And if I ever just wanted to hang out and be with her on a random day, she had someplace to be or something to do. Or I was breathing wrong and she found it distracting.
Looking back now, it’s easy to see our marriage wasn’t anything to write books about. Even though we were two people in the public eye, that was about the extent of what we had in common. They say you learn from your mistakes. Ain’t that the truth. I’d never say I regret marrying her, but I definitely wish things would’ve been different.
“You okay?” AJ asks, sliding onto my lap and snuggling in close.
“Perfect,” I tell her honestly, wrapping my arms tightly around her.
“I’m so tired. I can’t wait to go home and stretch out in a real bed.”
“My bed?” I ask, still hopeful that she’s planning to come back with me.
“Depends. Will you be in that bed?”
“I will be in whatever bed you’ll be in,” I reply.
Her eyes are bright under the darkened fluorescent lighting in the small waiting room as she gazes up at me with a knowing look. She knows exactly what I’m picturing, which, of course, is many, many different dirty things. I don’t care how exhausted I am. I still want her. To touch and taste her, her scent wrapped around me like I imagine her legs. The uncontrollable need I feel for her is quickly consuming my every thought. I’m addicted, for sure. It started the night we met and is showing no signs of slowing down.
In fact, if I sat back and allowed myself to really think about it, I’m not sure I want it to slow down. How easily I could drown in everything AJ Summer.
I’m just not sure if that drowning would be my salvation or my demise.
“Oh, I have something to tell you,” I say, adjusting the hold I have on her with my arm.
“Do I want to know?” she quips, though a hint of worry laces her eyes.
“It’s about the football game. Apparently, we were photographed.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, someone was across the field. There’s some photos online that appear to have been taken with a long-range lens.”
“Oh.” That’s all she says. One word.
“I’m sorry I’ve dragged you into my mess.”
AJ turns in my arm and faces me. “It was bound to happen sooner or later, right? I mean, if we’re going to hang out, then there’s a chance we’ll be spotted, and possibly photographed.” She shrugs her shoulders, as if it really doesn’t bother her much.
I exhale a huge sigh of relief and lean back against the wall. AJ cuddles into my side. “I was worried,” I confess quietly.
“About the photos?”
“Yeah. I was afraid you’d run for the hills at the first sign of those damn paparazzi.”
“It takes more than a few photos to send me packing,” she sasses. “Unless they’re bad pictures.”
Chuckling, I tighten my hold on her. “You couldn’t take a bad picture. You’re gorgeous.” She turns her head and makes a face. AJ crosses her eyes and sticks out her tongue, making us both laugh. “Nope,” I say, leaning down and kissing her nose. “You’re still gorgeous.”
Just after four, Linkin bursts into the waiting room. “I need help!”
“Oh my God, is it Lexi?” Abby begs.
“The babies?” Payton gasps.
“She wants to get married.” We all stop and stare at the man in front of us. “Now.”
“Who wants to get married now?” Ryan asks.
