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“I will,” I state, shedding more tears as he moves forward, placing a gentle kiss on my cheek.
“Goodbye,” he says as he turns and walks away.
“Goodbye,” I reply, watching him go.
When I wake with a start, I know he’s gone. The house feels different now. Even though I realize Josh will always be with me, I know that the rest of this journey through life isn’t with him by my side.
But I’m not alone. I have my family. I have friends.
And I have Nick.
For how long? No one knows.
But if I’m lucky, I’ll get to spend the rest of my life beside him, loving him.
Angie was right. There’s room for two in my heart. Josh’s love was my past, and Nick’s is my future. One doesn’t trump the other, they just co-exist.
I feel Nick’s arm wrap around me, pulling me into his chest. His heart is beating steadily beneath my fingertips as I softly caress the light dusting of dark hair on his chest.
“You okay?” he whispers.
Snuggling in close, I recall my dream. Not the one I’ve been plagued with since the night Josh died, but the one I had tonight. The one where we said goodbye. The one where I let him go.
“Yes,” I answer honestly, smiling upward. Because I know that I will be okay.
I’ll be okay because of this man I have at my side, as well as the one who watches over me.
I’ll be okay because I’m a strong woman who has survived heartache and come out only slightly scathed and yet smiling on the other side.
I’ll be okay because I know how to love, and how to accept it in return.
That’s what I’ll carry with me forever.
My forever.
