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Chapter Five
Meghan
On Saturday morning, I find myself picking at the paper napkin in my hand, waiting for Cindy to arrive at the coffee shop. She’s not late. I’m early. Like twenty minutes early.
When eleven finally rolls around, Cindy walks in wearing a bright yellow top with little pink flowers and Bermuda shorts, with sandals. Her smile is warm and genuine and her eyes light up when she approaches my table. “I’m going to grab a quick coffee. Do you need a refill?” she asks.
“No, I’m good.” She doesn’t need to know that I’m on my third cup of the morning already.
While I wait for Cindy to return, I glance at the small menu that’s printed on an index card on the table. They don’t offer too much, but what they do have is supposed to be out of this world.
“Sorry I’m a few minutes late,” Cindy says as she slides into the booth across from me.
“No, you’re not. I’m early.” I pick at the napkin once more, dropping little pieces of paper on the small pile I created earlier.
“So…how have you been?” she asks, her warm blue eyes friendly and filled with a bit of concern.
“Fine, I guess.” There’s that word again. Fine. I’m always fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine, FINE! “Actually, no. That’s not necessarily true.”
“Okay, what’s up?” she asks, sitting up a little taller in the booth.
“I mean, things really are…fine, but there’s just something that I wanted to, maybe, talk to you about. But if it’s none of my business, then I completely understand. You can tell me to get lost and I wouldn’t hold it against you.”
“Meghan,” she says, reaching over and resting her hand on mine, “whatever you want to ask me is fine.” Fine. See, even Cindy uses that word.
“Okay, well, what I was wondering…it’s been a few years since, you know, your husband passed away.” Deep breath. “Have you ever thought about, I don’t know, dating?” Holy shit, I can’t breathe.
Cindy smiles once more and just that slightest gesture on her part starts to put me at ease. “Actually, yes. Dale passed away almost four years ago this July. While it was difficult the first couple of years, lately, I’ve been spending a bit of time with someone.”
“And what made you decide to…you know, do that?” I spin my coffee cup in my hands just to give them something to do.
“Well, I think it was when I realized how lonely I truly was. Dale and I had twenty-five wonderful years together and two great sons. They were both in college when he passed, living in their own place in Richmond. I was all alone at home. Even though I had friends and family who would stop by, it wasn’t quite the same, right?”
I nod my head in agreement.
“Well, after I grieved for Dale and the love we had, I decided that it was time to start living again. I wasn’t doing anything but sitting at home, or joining groups to keep myself occupied. I certainly wasn’t living anymore. I was going through the motions.
“One day last year, my boys came home and they told me it was time. They encouraged me to go out and meet new people – men, actually – which was as awkward of a conversation as you could imagine.”
I offer her a smile, trying to imagine how uncomfortable it would be for both mother and sons to openly talk about dating. Lord knows my grandparents don’t seem to have that particular uncomfortable gene, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy their little sex-laced powwows.
“Anyway, to be honest, I had been thinking about it for a bit, but didn’t know how they would feel. He was their father, for heaven’s sake. The last thing I would want is them to feel like I was trying to replace him.”
I nod in understanding, though my emotions seem to have gathered in my throat and are making it difficult to speak.
“It was like they gave me that last bit of encouragement I needed to take that step. Now, don’t get me wrong, they were baby steps at first. I had coffee with a couple of nice gentlemen in town, and a few dinners, but nothing serious, really. Until about six months ago. I met someone who makes me smile again.”
And now I’m smiling in return. Her eyes light up when she speaks of this man, and I can tell she’s completely smitten. “That’s wonderful. How did you meet?”
“Actually, we met at the grocery store. He had his granddaughter with him, buying stuff for s’mores, when I dropped a can of peas. It rolled toward him, he bent to pick it up, and that was it. We talked for just a few moments, but it was nice. For the first time, it didn’t feel forced or uncomfortable. When we ran into each other again a few weeks later, we decided to grab a cup of coffee. We’ve been enjoying casual dinners and outings ever since.”
Reaching over, now I’m the one squeezing her hand. “I am truly happy for you. He would be a lucky man to spend time with you, Cindy.” And I absolutely mean it. I’ve come to really enjoy our conversations, though always much more brief and not quite as personal before today.
“Thank you.” Cindy glances at me before she continues. “You know, they say there is no timeline on grief, and I truly believe that, Meghan. You can’t force these things; not when love was involved. You lost someone. Someone very dear to you, and there’s no set time on when you should move forward. It’s your schedule, your life. Take it day by day.”
Nodding, I take another sip of my lukewarm coffee. “I, uh…I have a date tonight.”
“Is this your first?”
