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That night, while the sun sinks behind the trees, casting shadows on my living room, I sit at the kitchen table with my sister, Natalie, and her husband, Stuart, as they continue to make googly eyes at each other, like I’m not even in the room.
“Stop it,” I tell them in a firm big brother voice.
“What?” Nat asks, a mischievous smile cresting her face. Then I notice her lower body move and Stuart slightly jump in his seat.
“Are you playing footsy under the table? Please don’t make me look. I’ll have nightmares.”
“You definitely don’t want to look,” Nat teases.
“Jesus,” I grumble, rubbing my temples, as if fretting a headache. “You two are too much. How long does the honeymoon phase last again?”
“Forever. It’s never going to end,” Natalie replies, taking a sip of her wine.
“Lies. It’ll end,” I retort, taking a pull from my own beer bottle.
“Don’t transfer your relationship woes and troubles on us, big brother. Stuart and I are perfectly content and happy in our own little marriage sex bubble,” my horrible sister adds with a shrug.
“Don’t say sex.”
“Sex, sex, sex, sex…” she trails off, an evil smirk on her face.
“Gross,” I grumble lightheartedly and turn to my brother-in-law. “Can’t you control her?”
Stuart smiles. “Why would I want to? She’s so much more fun when she’s out of control,” he adds, making my chicken breast and baked potato threaten to make a reappearance.
“For fuck’s sake, you two,” I chastise to a chorus of laughter. “Now you sound like Meghan’s grandparents.”
Natalie gets up and starts to clear the dirty dishes. I try to stop her, but she waves me off. “How are Orval and Emma? I haven’t seen much of them since the infamous Viagra brownies incident. That was, what, almost two years ago?”
That brings a smile to my face. I remember hearing all about the time Orval laced homemade brownies with the erectile dysfunction drug and proceeded to give them to the guys at Jaime and Ryan’s joint bachelor/bachelorette party. “Emma stopped by today when Collette was in the chair.”
“Wait, your ex still comes to you for dental work?” Stuart asks, his eyebrows arched.
“Apparently. It was a pleasant surprise at the end of my workday.”
“You should have accidentally pulled all of her teeth,” Natalie sneers an unhappy look.
“Now you sound like Meghan,” I point out, recalling her saying the exact same thing earlier.
“Ohh, Meghan,” she coos in a singsong voice.
“Stop it,” I chastise, knowing exactly where she’s going with this. It’s the same place she goes every chance she gets.
“How is your Meggy?” Natalie places her chin in her palms and gives me one of those dreamy, far-off looks.
I roll my eyes. “She’s not my Meggy. She’s my employee.”
“Keep tellin’ yourself that, big brother.” My annoying little sister grins at me, which results in very maturely sticking my tongue out at her.
“Meghan is…” How to explain it. She’s miserable, but tries to hide it. She’s sad and doesn’t know what to do with herself, so she keeps herself so overly busy that she barely has time to breathe. But I suppose that’s the point, right? Then she’s not forced to think about the love she lost and the life she’ll never have with him. “She’s doing fine.”
That’s all I got, because even though she’s anything but fine, it’s not my place to tell her secrets or talk about her. I see everything she tries to hide from the world, including me. She paints on her pretty smile and pretends.
And it kills me.
Because her smiles aren’t real. They haven’t been for more than two years.
Her laughter is hollow.
