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“Meghan,” I start, at a loss for words suddenly.
“No!” she demands, adamantly shaking her head. “You don’t love me!” she insists, those fucking tears ripping me to shreds.
“I do,” I assure, taking a step toward her and reaching for her hand.
But she pulls away, shaking. “People who love me die. I’m tainted. I don’t want that for you, Nick. You deserve to love someone who’s capable of loving you back.”
“You’re not capable?” I ask gently, taking another small step in her direction.
“No. I’m not able to love. I loved once and he left. I killed him,” she whispers, her eyes turning dark and hard.
“Honey, you didn’t do that. You had nothing to do with what happened to Josh,” I reassure.
She growls, frustrated, and turns away. “Everything was fine, Nick. Everything was great. Why did you have to say it?”
Her back is to me, but I still feel the weight of her words. “Because it’s true. I said it because I’m in love with you. Have been for weeks now, if not much longer.”
She shakes her head. Turning and facing me, she looks me straight in the eye. “Then this is over.”
My heart pounds in my chest so loud I’m sure they can hear it at the party over the music and laughter. Over the happiness. “Meghan, just because my feelings for you are the way they are doesn’t mean we have to stop seeing each other. In fact, it doesn’t mean anything has to change at all,” I softly declare.
“Everything has changed,” she states, her eyes hard with tears. “If you love me, something will happen. Something bad, and I can’t, Nick. I can’t…go through that again. It hurts too much, and if I lost you, I don’t think I’d survive it.”
This time, her slow tears turn into agonizing sobs. I move toward her, wrapping my arms around her and drawing her close. She’s shaking and crying, her tears quickly soaking through my dress shirt. I keep one hand on her back and the other I run down the back of her head, trying to convey as much comfort and support as humanly possible through just a touch.
She’s been hurt so badly already – and I’m the stupid idiot who didn’t think about that before declaring his undying love. The last man she loved is no longer here, and the thought of someone else loving her is terrifying.
I get it.
But it doesn’t stop my feelings.
Suddenly, she pushes back and swipes harshly at her cheeks. “No, it’s over. I don’t love you, Nick. I can’t.”
Before I can even open my mouth to reply, she turns and runs up the beach, leaving me standing at the shore. I watch her go until she disappears around the side of the restaurant. What the fuck just happened? One minute I’m confessing my love and spilling my feelings, and the next she’s breaking everything off and running away.
I’m the biggest fucking idiot on the planet.
Not for loving her. No, there’s nothing wrong with loving that woman. She owns my heart already, even after only a few months. But for just blurting it out the way I did, without even thinking about how it would make her feel.
My feet start to move through the sand as I run toward the party. I fly up the stairs and begin frantically searching for Meghan. Jaime and Payton each give me a look, one that lets me know they can tell something’s wrong, but I don’t go to them. I don’t have time. I need to find Meghan.
Before it’s too late.
