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Chapter Eleven
Meghan
I thought this day would never arrive. I thought any hopes and dreams of a beautiful wedding were crushed the night Josh died.
I was wrong.
As I gaze at my reflection in the mirror, I’m feeling both elation and sadness sweep through me. For so long, I thought this would be my life with Josh. That was quickly replaced by a profound grief that I thought would accompany me through the rest of my days. And then Nick stepped in and showed me that life was worth living. It wasn’t easy. In fact, some days I made it damn hard on him, but do you know what? He stuck by me, held my hand, and reassured me that I would be okay.
And I was.
I am.
I miss Josh every day. Every. Day. But when I think back on our short time together, I smile. He was my friend and lover, but not my forever. Yes, it still hurts to say that, and probably always will.
Now I have Nick. A man who gets me, understands my anxiety and pain, and stands beside me with nothing but love and support in his eyes. I can’t change the past, but I can embrace the future. My future.
Our future.
This white dress is perfect. Not even close to the one I had my eye on before (you know, when I was planning my first wedding). This one is simpler. It’s white with a lace overlay, but with not one ounce of poof. It hugs my curves in a seductive, yet classy way, and I can’t wait for Nick to see it.
My hair is pulled back, a long braid-ish style hanging down my back. It’s not something I would have picked on my own, but I trusted my sister to come up with a unique style that fit me, and man, did she knock it out of the park. She added a few flowers that Payton brought, and the end result is stunning.
Deep breaths.
“It’s time,” AJ says at the doorway of her bedroom. She turned over her bedroom for me to finish getting ready, while the rest of my sisters got dressed in the other rooms down the hall.
My sister looks stunning. Her hair is swept back, and the dress fits her perfectly, like the rest of my bridesmaids. All five of my sisters. My best friends. I couldn’t imagine this day without them standing by my side.
“Did you have a nice nap?” I ask, grabbing the delicate lace and satin of my dress and hiking it up just a bit so I don’t step on the material.
“Shut up,” AJ grumbles with a smile. Before we took photos of all of us girls down by the gorgeous trellis Ryan built, someone noticed AJ missing. We all giggled and snapped photos of her sleeping in the rocking chair in Nolan’s room, and have now teased her mercilessly since.
I follow my sister down the stairs and join the rest of my family in the living room. The door to the deck is open and soft music filters through the screen with the breeze. It’s a gorgeous May day, one that couldn’t be more perfect if it had been specially ordered from the heavens. A day that will see me professing my love to one man and ending with new titles of husband and wife.
Glancing around the room, my smile is instantaneous. All five of my sisters are there in matching dresses. My oldest niece is wearing an adorable little white dress, her own hair swept up in a braid and flowers. My dad is there too. His eyes are on mine, a soft, yet sad smile playing on his lips. There’s one person missing from today, someone who should be here.
My mom.
I return his sad smile, knowing all too well what he’s thinking. It was hard to plan this wedding without her. Like all of my sisters before me, I’m about to say “I do” without the woman who gave birth to me by my side. But I know she’s here. I know she’s looking down, with love and happiness in her green eyes.
With Josh.
They’ll have a front row seat together.
“Ready?” Payton asks, handing me a white bouquet.
“Definitely,” I reply, my heart starting to race.
I watch on as one by one, my sisters start to make their way out the door, down the stairs, and toward the beach. Payton first, followed by Jaime. Abby goes next, and then Lexi. AJ, my matron of honor, turns around and gives me a smile. I can see the emotions in it, feel them pouring from her. I feel the same way. It’s that same mixture of jubilation and sorrow that I’ve felt all day. No, not because I’m not happy to be married, but because of the events that led to today.
She squeezes my bare hand with the one not holding her own bouquet before turning and walking out the door, leaving me alone in the house with my dad. He turns his full attention to me, his eyes shining brightly with unshed tears. Stepping forward, he places both hands on my upper arms and pulls me into a hug. “I’ve never been more proud to be your father than I am today,” he whispers as he places a kiss on my forehead, just as he’s done my entire life.
“Thank you, Daddy.”
“She’d be so proud of you too. They both would.” I don’t have to ask who he’s referring to. I already know.
A single tear slips from my eye as I nod my head in understanding.
