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CHAPTERTHIRTEEN
Natasha was staring at me with a slight smile as she stirred her coffee.
“What?” I asked, as I shoved a banana in my mouth with absolutely no lady like grace. I was starving after the events of the evening. Leo and I had screwed around until well into the morning when he eventually had to leave to go to work, and all of that physical activity had left me ravenous.
I could have eaten a full steak dinner if it was in front of me. As it was, all that I had was fruit and cereal, which was going to have to work.
One thing neither Natasha nor I could do was cook.
“Do you want to tell me what happened last night?”
I rolled my eyes. I was not surprised that Natasha had heard us. The two of us had not exactly been quiet. My thighs tingled as I thought about all the ways that Leo made me scream. I was right when I thought that he knew what he was doing.
While I would never tell him this to his face, Leo was by far the most intense sex that I had ever had. It was like he took all of his pent-up emotions, the ones that he kept hidden so that he could present his cool and calm façade to the world, and packed them into my body.
“You're smiling,” Natasha teased.
I quickly wiped the smile off my face. “I’m thinking about how I am going to get an A on this paper that I’m working on. That’s all.”
Natasha smiled at me over the rim of her coffee. It was a coy smile that made me roll my eyes.
“Look,” I said, leaning forward. “Just because I have no issue screwing around with Leo, doesn’t mean that I’m looking to marry him. My position on that has not changed.”
It hadn’t. Unlike my cousin, I did not equate sex and love.
Last night with Leo had not changed anything for me, except put me in a better mood. When it came down to it, I had a choice. Leo or me, and I would always choose myself.
“It’s clear that you like him.”
I snorted. “I’ve met him a grand total of three times,” I reminded her. “You can’t really create a lifetime of memories on that.”
“It’s more than some people get,” Natasha said. “At least Leo is young and handsome.”
Leo was handsome, but handsome men were a dime a dozen, and I was not interested in getting married simply because Leo was hot.
“Don’t romanticize this,” I told Natasha. “Leo and I fucked because we enjoyed one another’s bodies. That’s all.”
“But—”
I held up my hand to stop her. “No,” I said. “Neither of us wants to get married, but we will because it is what my father wants, and we know that we cannot disappoint the Pakhan.” There was sarcasm in my voice. I desired nothing more than for my father to not get what he wanted, and despite how much I enjoyed sex with Leo, I would slit his throat in a moment if I thought it would get me what I wanted.
I grabbed my bag. “I have to go back to the library,” I said. “I have to pick up a book.” I really did not have to do that, but I did not want to be home with Natasha making googly eyes as she thought about Leo.
“You know,” Natasha said, her tone stern. “You could try and be positive about something even if you aren’t completely happy about it.”
I stopped just as I got to the door. I gripped the strap of my bag, knuckles white, as I tried to get control of the anger that ripped through me. Natasha was always trying to get me to look on the bright side of things, but really, what she was saying was that I should just be happy with what I have.
Well, that didn’t work for me.
“I’ll see you later tonight.” That was the last thing I said to her as I rushed out of the door. Let Natasha live in her fairytale world. I would live in the real one.
* * *
My paper was done. I had finished it that morning after Leo had left, but I wanted to walk around the city for a bit. Going to campus was the only time I was not tagged with guards, so I was enjoying the peace of things.
There was something about strolling through the streets of New York that just made me feel alive.
I turned to walk through Central Park. It was not the safest location for a walk, but it was mid-afternoon, and the sun was shining, and I was not going to allow myself to be turned off from a walk through my favorite place in the city.
