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CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE
“Are you sure that you want to do this?” Natasha asked. She arranged my hair so that it laid across the crown that was part of my veil.
I was looking in the mirror, and though I was dressed in my bridal gown, but I didn’t radiate happiness as other brides did. I didn’t look miserable.
I just looked empty, which was apt, because that was how I was feeling.
“No one will blame you if you can’t go through with this. After all, your parents just died. You could postpone this for a year, and we could find a way out of this.”
I shook my head. “There’s no way out but through.”
Isaac wanted to marry as soon as possible. He wanted to ensure that I did not back out of things. Not that I would. Isaac and I had a deal, and as long as he kept up his end, I would keep up mine.
Even if it killed me.
“I hate this,” Natasha said. “You shouldn’t have to do this.” There were tears in Natasha’s eyes, and normally, the sight of that would affect me, but I didn’t feel anything. When Isaac slid the tacky sapphire ring on my finger, which he modeled off of Princess Diana’s, even though blue was my least favorite color, I shut down everything that made me emote.
“You shouldn’t cry,” I said, getting up from the vanity. “You don’t want to ruin your makeup. It won’t photograph well.”
Natasha looked at me as though I’d lost my mind, but she kept her mouth closed, which I appreciated. It was my wedding day after all.
I glanced over at the clock. “We need to get into place,” I said. “It’s almost time.”
For a moment, I thought that Natasha was going to say something else, but she simply shook her head and walked out of the door. For the past few weeks, she’d been trying to convince me that I needed to wait, but I was not going to do that.
The stakes were too high.
“You look lovely.” I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of the deep voice that was so familiar to me.
I turned, not surprised to see Leo looking at me. He had not been invited to the wedding. One of Isaac’s decrees was for Leo to leave New York, and I thought he had, but a part of me had felt his presence all morning.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I said.
Leo stepped forward. “I had to see you.”
I shook my head. “No,” I said. “You should be as far away from this as possible. If Isaac sees you…”
“He won’t. He’s too busy preening. After all, he won.”
Leo’s voice sounded broken as he walked towards me. I wanted to collapse into his arms and run away with him. I had never thought that I wanted to be anything but the Pakhan, but meeting Leo had changed that. For the first time, I allowed myself to think of another life, and now, that life was dead.
“I know why you made this deal, but I wish you’d come to me first.”
“I knew that you’d stop me, and I couldn’t let that happen.”
Leo swallowed heavily. I could see his Adam’s apple bob up and down. “If it was just me, I would have taken my chances.”
I blinked back the tears. “I know, but there’s more at stake here than just us. If Isaac tells the Bratva that Madeline and Matthew are alive, even if they don’t go after them, Andrea will, and Matthew deserves a normal life.” I reached out and cupped his hand. He’d grown a beard, and I missed the feeling of his smooth skin. This was the last moment that we would ever touch one another. “You deserve a normal life too, and I hope you find it.”
Leo leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.
I sighed at the softness of the kiss. It was swift, but I savored it. “I would have given it all up for you,” he told me.
“I know.”
There was a knock on the door, and we spring apart. “Katarina are you ready!”
I turned away from Leo trying not to sob as I walked towards the door. I knew when I opened it, he would be gone.
I pulled my veil over my face. It was time to put away childish things. I might not be Pakhan today, but I would be. Even if it took the rest of my life, I would wrestle the Bratva away from Isaac, and I would make him pay for destroying my happiness.
Until then, I would be the best wife and mother. He would find no fault with me. He’d think he’d won, and then, when he least expected it, I would drive the knife so deep, he’d regret ever meeting me.
“Are you ready?” Natasha asked.
“Let’s go.”
The future might not be bright, but it would be soaked in blood.
