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“What’s wrong, baby? Can you not handle the heat? You said you could.”
She releases me as the elevator doors open.
“You are a naughty girl.”
She giggles and opens the door to her room.
I want to fuck her. I want to make love to her. I want to be inside of her in every way possible. I fear hurting her. I’m terrified of getting her pregnant. What if the same thing happened again? I could not live with myself if sex was what took her from me. I know it’s not realistic to just never have sex with her again.
I pulled out my phone and texted Alexander.
To: Alexander… If you’re not busy, can you meet me in the hotel bar? I need to talk.
From: Alexander… I thought you’d never ask. I’m on my way.
“Stella, I need to go for a bit.”
“Where are you going?”
“I need to talk to Alexander. I’ll be back soon.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine baby.”
“Okay, don’t be too late.”
“I love you, baby.”
“I love you too.”
Heading downstairs to the hotel bar, I laugh to myself when I get into the elevator.
I head to the bar and sit down. I said hello to the bartender and ordered a scotch and a whiskey for Alexander.
Coming up behind me, he touches my shoulder and sits to my right. He doesn’t dare sit on Stella’s bar stool. I realized that was a kind of crazy behavior.
“Hey man. What’s up?”
“I need to talk about Stella.”
“Is everything not okay between you two?”
“It’s never been better.”
“So what’s the issue then?”
“I can’t have sex with her.”
“You’re afraid of her getting pregnant?”
“Well, yeah, and the surgery. I don’t want to hurt her. I’m really worried about her getting pregnant. I can’t lose her. I just can’t. I told her we won’t have intercourse again, and she’s not happy.”
“That’s a little crazy.”
“Hey, I thought shrinks couldn’t call people crazy.”
“Well, you’re not my patient,” he smiled. “Look, there are no guarantees in life, Jamie. You both could get hit by a bus tomorrow. If you don’t want her to get pregnant, take precautions, but abstinence is unnecessary.”
