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He looks terrified. Again, he did this.
I pull my skirt down and look at him in horror, “This is not love. That was not fucking love. You can go. We ARE done here.”
“Stella, no.”
“Get the fuck out, Jamie. Get out of my life.”
“Stella, I’m sorry. I went too far.”
“That was not a sex game taken too far.”
“Jamie, go. I’m done. That was the last time. Go to Katelyn. I don’t fucking care. Just get out of my hotel room.”
He looks at me with wounded eyes that match mine, “I knew it. I always fuck up everything good. I love you Stella, I’m sorry.”
“Me too, goodbye.”
He leaves. This time we are done. I won’t give in again. He uses sex as a weapon. That’s not what someone does when they love you. I don’t know much about love, but I do know that. I know now that he doesn’t love me. You don’t do that to someone that you love.
Fourteen
CHAPTER 14
Sunday
Last night was hard. Today is harder. I miss him. I know I did the right thing. It wasn’t love, not for him, anyway.
Monday
I told him we’re done, so why do I keep checking my phone? I keep hearing knocks at the door, but there’s nobody there. I’m alone. Scarlet keeps texting to ask if I’m okay. I’m definitely not okay.
Tuesday
Still nothing. I guess I pushed him away enough times that he has moved on. I haven’t seen or heard anything.
Wednesday
He knows I go to Glass House regularly. Did he check out? Maybe he’s back in California. God, I miss him. What he did was simply mean. I do wonder if I overreacted. Was what he did a relationship ender?
Thursday
Scarlet asks me to go out for drinks, but I’m not interested in seeing her. None of this is her fault. I can’t stand to see her happiness right now.
Friday
I have to bring my manuscript to my publisher, so I need to get my sappy shit together. It’s been almost a week. Maybe I need a new buddy. It’s over, so why not? I don’t want anybody else. He really ruined me, just like he said he would. I’m so lost. My chest aches. I’ve cried so much that I’ve had a headache for nearly a week.
I’m finally dressed and on my way to my publisher. I’m running late, so I literally ran into the office. I crashed into a solid wall, almost falling to the ground.
Someone caught me in their arms. What just happened?
I look up, it’s Jamie. My breath hitches in my throat.
He looks like I feel. He still looks handsome, but I don’t think he shaved since we broke up. Staring at me, he pulls me tighter in his arms.
“Stella, God I miss you.”
Again the tears come. What the hell is wrong with me? I’ve never cried more than I have since I met him.
