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“Not tonight Jamie. I… I think I need some time.”
“How much time?”
“I don’t know.”
He looks broken. Maybe we can fix things. I don’t know. I do need time. I need to think. I can’t think while he’s in the same room. He’s intoxicating. My addiction kicks in.
Walking to my room I miss him already. What is wrong with me? I want to be with him so much. I feel like being with Jamie means being in pain. I have had my fill of pain. My life has been very painful. As much as he’s hurt me, at the same time, he soothes me. He makes all the pain go away until he does something to hurt me. It’s a double edged sword. How can he hurt me and heal me at the same time?
Stepping into my room, I’m fighting with myself. I want to go to his room. I want to kiss him. I want to tell him we’re okay. I’m so tired of being hurt. First, he slept with Katelyn. Then he let her touch him in front of me. Then he punished me with sex. Three strikes you’re out?
From: Jamie… Thank you again for coming for a drink, I wish you had stayed longer. I miss you already.
To: Jamie… I miss you too.
From: Jamie… Then why aren’t we together?
To: Jamie… I can’t think when I’m with you.
From: Jamie… Then don’t think, just feel.
To: Jamie… Are you alone?
From: Jamie…Unfortunately. I wish you were here.
JAMIE
There’s a knock at my door. I know better than to hope it’s Stella. It’s probably the wrong door. I ignore it, but the knocking persists. I go to the door, annoyed as hell. I open the door, almost yelling.
“What?”
I blink, wondering if I’m seeing things.
“Stella?”
“Are you going to invite me in?”
“You don’t need an invitation. You’re always welcome.”
I watch her move into and around the room. I’m so afraid to make her leave again. She sets her laptop up on the desk. I eye her speculatively.
“I thought we could write.”
She wants to write. I really want to fuck her on the desk. It’s how I know if things are okay. I’ll take what I can get. Besides, I know things are not okay. I’ve really fucked things up.
“I wrote the romance scene we talked about. Do you want to read it?”
By romance scene she means sex scene. I read it and it gives me an instant erection because it makes me think of sex with her. I love being with her. She does things to my body that no other woman has ever done. Her hands, her mouth, her pussy. She’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of touching.
She starts laughing. She’s laughing at me.
I’m unimpressed, “What?”
“You’re hard from reading it.”
“Not true.”
She looks down at my pants, “Umm Jamie,” she laughs again.
