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After hanging up, I pay my tab and leave. Taking a cab to the hospital, I hope I’m not too late. Even if she’s going to die, I need to tell her I love her. God, I fucking love her so much. She has to come back. I can’t fucking be without her. I walk in and see Alexander still sitting there, “Sorry about your face.”
“No problem.”
Scarlet looks at me, “It is a problem.”
When did she get here? I don’t remember seeing her before.
“Scarlet not now, honey,” Alexander said.
She was staring daggers at me.
“What do we know?”
Alexander takes a deep breath. “It’s an ectopic pregnancy. Her fallopian tube burst.”
“What?”
“Is the baby okay?”
“An ectopic pregnancy is when the baby implants somewhere that it shouldn’t have. The baby was implanted in her fallopian tube. A baby cannot sustain life there. It’s what caused her fallopian tube to burst.”
“Burst? So the baby is dead?”
“I’m sorry Jamie. There was no possibility of the baby living.”
I could tell there was more, “Continue.”
“They took her into emergency surgery to remove the fallopian tube and deal with internal bleeding.”
“She has internal bleeding?”
“Yes.”
“This is all my fault.”
“Jamie, this is not your fault.”
“I put the baby into her and now she’s dying.”
“A lot of women live through this.”
“But she could die.”
“Yes.”
I ran my hand through my hair, wishing it was her hands, “I can’t live without her. I can’t fucking breathe.”
“It’s a panic attack. Take some breaths. I hope you don’t have to, but you will live without her if it comes down to it.”
Scarlet comes and sits beside me and pulls me into her arms. It’s nice, but not the same as Stella.
“Oh Jamie, it’s going to be okay. She’s going to be okay.”
“She has internal bleeding.”
“I know, honey.”
A man comes towards me in scrubs, “Mr. Martin?”
