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30
Kennedy
I stayedin the library for the next few days, telling Jax that I was too busy working on my novel to meet up with him. Every time he asked me if I were okay, I lied and said everything was fine. I still didn’t know how to face him after my interaction with Amanda, even though all I wanted was to be in his arms to receive his comfort again.
That Tuesday, I stayed in the library for so long that I hadn’t even noticed it’d started to rain while I was working. When Hunter came to kick me out of the library for the day, I was overwhelmed by the amount of rain that was falling around me.
My first thought was to call Jax, but I knew I couldn’t do that. Instead, I pulled out my cell phone and used the Cuber app Connor had told me to download weeks ago. I entered ‘diamond’ for the promo code, and I couldn’t help but smile when it worked.
Connor was young, but he was beyond intelligent. His app was brilliant.
I tried my best to not let the noise of the rain bother me as I waited for Connor’s car to pull up in front of the library. When it did, I hurried down the steps and hopped into the passenger seat. My heart was already beating quickly in my chest, but I tried to control the panic.
“Hi there, Kennedy! Welcome to Cuber, the next big thing in transportation. Can I offer you a water? Maybe some mints? I have some magazines if you’d like—”
“I’m good, Connor. I’d just like to get home as soon as possible.”
“You got it. We at Cuber love to give the passengers exactly what they want, so I will have you home in no time. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.”
Not very likely.
The rain hammered overhead as Connor drove us down the road. I hated the rain, hated how its cries beat down on the car with aggression.
My hands were clasped tightly as I closed my eyes and took in deep breaths. We’d be home soon, and I’d be back inside, and everything would be okay. I would be okay.
I’m okay.
Every time the thunder roared, my heartrate skyrocketed. I could hear the song blasting on the speakers from all those years ago. I could hear Mama singing in the seat beside me. I could’ve sworn Daisy and Dad were singing along with Mama in the back seat.
Connor’s phone dinged, and my eyes shot open.
“What was that?” I asked, panicking as my heart lodged firmly in my throat.
Connor smiled toward me and shrugged as he looked down to his console. “Just my phone. I bet my mom is wondering where I am.” He reached for his phone as the rain hammered the car.
“No! Stop!” I shouted. I put my hand over his cell phone, and he paused, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. “Look at the road. It’s raining too hard, and you shouldn’t check your phone.”
“Don’t worry, Kennedy—I’m a professional at this,” he said, yanking his phone up as he began flipping through it.
My heart pounded aggressively against my rib cage, trying to claw its way out of my chest, and I shook my head. “Pull over,” I ordered.
He raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“Pull over! Pull over! Pull over!” I shouted, pounding the dashboard with the heels of my hands. I couldn’t breathe. My mouth sat agape as a rush of panic swallowed me whole. “Please, Connor! Please pull over, pull over.”
“Okay, okay!” he said, pulling the car over to the side of the road. He put it into park, and I hopped out of the vehicle as fast as I could.
I headed toward the trees on the side of the road as the rain poured down, and I bent down, wrapped my arms around my legs, and rocked back and forth, paralyzed by fear. It was happening again. It was happening again. I was losing them. I was losing them all over again.
* * *
“She started freaking out,man, and I can’t get her back into the car,” Connor said to someone after another car pulled up. I shivered in the chilly rain as thunder roared overhead. I couldn’t move. I’d been trying to move for the past fifteen minutes, but I couldn’t. My body was frozen in place as the rain pummeled my skin. Each droplet ignited a flashback, and each flashback heightened the panic shredding my soul.
It had been so long since I’d experienced a panic attack to this degree. I was supposed to be getting better. I was supposed to be finding my way to a new beginning. I was writing again. I was happy. At least, I thought I was happy.
Yet, there I was, curled in a ball under an oak tree, unable to move due to the flashbacks of my horrors.
“Okay, I got her,” a deep voice said, calm as day. He walked over toward me and bent down in front of me. “Hey, Sun,” Jax said, giving me his half-grin. “What’s going on?”
