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He scowled, but I knew the only reason he was doing that was due to the fact that he was going to let me try to figure it all out. “You women are going to be the death of me,” he muttered.
I rushed him, wrapping my arms around his body, and I held on so tight, probably squeezing all of the air from his lungs. “Thank you, Big Paw.”
“Don’t thank me. I haven’t done anything yet.”
“But still, thank you. For everything you’ve done for me.”
He gave me a half smile, and I swore that was the first time I’d seen his lips do such a thing to anyone outside of Holly. “If by the grace of God we pull this off, I refuse to change any diapers.”
“Oh, Harry. You’re going to change whatever we tell you to change,” Holly said.
Big Paw grumbled some more, because he knew she was right. He sat back down in his chair and gestured toward the hallway. “Go check on your sister. We’ll be over there in a few.”
I did as they said and disappeared down the hallway. Before going into the NICU, I washed my hands thoroughly. My sister had been moved to a new space in the NICU. She wasn’t hooked up to as many machines, and there were holes in her incubator, which allowed people to reach in and hold her hands.
After I was done scrubbing myself clean, I walked over to her and smiled as she lay there resting. She was so small but so fierce, so strong. Such a fighter.
I slid my hand into the incubator and placed my finger in her palm so she could grip it. Her fingers were chilled, and I did my best to warm them up. I sniffled a bit as she wiggled around and made the quietest sounds. So many babies in the NICU cried for hours on end, but not my sister. She hardly made a peep. If I didn’t know better, I might’ve missed that there was even a baby in front of me.
“Hey, sweetheart,” I whispered, looking down at the angel. “I know you don’t know me, but you will so very soon. You see, I’m your big sister. I’m the one who’s going to be looking after you from here on out. I know this probably isn’t what you signed up for. Lord knows this wasn’t how I saw my life going, but that’s the thing about life: sometimes it just shifts without our permission. But that’s why we have to stick together, okay? Because when life shifts, it’s easier if you have someone to hold on to, so hold on to me, sis. I got you.” It may have been my imagination, but I swore it felt as if her grip around my finger tightened a little bit. As I held on to her hand, she finally opened up her eyes for me. I’d been waiting days for her to look my way, for her to give me her stare.
Her beautiful, beautiful hazel eyes.
“She’s stunning like her sister,” a voice said, making me tense up as I pulled my hand away from the incubator. His voice was deep and smoky and mine.
My mouth fell open and a hand flew to my chest as I turned to see Ian standing there. His eyes had bags beneath them, and his hair was wild, as if he hadn’t pushed a brush through it in days. He stood tall with a relaxed appearance. His eyes sparkled as he looked my way with his hands stuffed into his jeans pockets, and the smallest smile sat against his lips.
A heavy feeling sat in my stomach as my heartbeat raced. “What are you doing here?”
“Come on, Haze,” he softly said, walking toward me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into an embrace. “I think you know the answer to that.”
I melted into his touch as if he were the sun and I were an ice cube. My hands fell against his chest, and I kept praying I wasn’t daydreaming his presence.
“You’re really here?” I asked.
“I’m really here.” He kissed my forehead, and I fell that much more in love. “Sorry I’m late.”
“But how, though? I thought your schedule was packed for quite some time.”
“I found a bit of wiggle room.”
“Ian—” I felt deflated, thinking that he’d chosen me over his music. That was what I was most worried about, him losing sight of his dreams because I was blurring his vision.
“Shh, Haze. It’s fine. Trust me. I figured it out. We had a free day, and I took a flight back home. I leave tonight on a red-eye, but I couldn’t imagine not being here for you when you needed me.”
“You’re only here for a few hours?” I asked. “You must be so exhausted.”
“Yeah. But it’s worth it. Now come on. Introduce me to your sister.” He started walking toward her, but I stepped in front of him like an overprotective mama bear.
“Wait! You have to wash your hands before you can touch her.”
He smirked and held his hands up in the air. “I already did. The nurse notified me before I came in. Go ahead, HCT me.”
I leaned in close to his hands and sniffed, smelling the hospital soap against his skin. I smiled. “Okay, carry on.”
We each took a side of the incubator and put our hands inside. Ian took her left hand, and I held her right. It almost looked as if she were smiling too. Sure, I knew that was probably not a smile, and she might’ve had gas or something, but her lips were curved up, and that made me feel happy. At peace after a very nonpeaceful few days.
“I want to yell at you for being here, but I also want to kiss you for being here too,” I whispered to Ian as we lay in the hotel room. Big Paw, Holly, and I had been staying at a hotel for the past few days in order to be close to the hospital in case anything went awry. They were back in their hotel room doing research while I was soaking up every single second of my time with Ian.
