Page 137 of Western Waves


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“Well, will you look at that. Even Ms. Kelp didn’t want your weird ass,” Kyle said, shoving me.

I didn’t have the strength to run. I didn’t have the power to lock myself away. I just let it happen. They shoved me. They messed up my photographs. They then smashed my camera. I didn’t care. I didn’t feel anything.

They even pushed and shoved me. Hit me. Fought me. I didn’t fight back.

When everyone went to bed, I left the house. I walked for hours with no real direction. I found a bottle of whiskey that I snatched from a store. I drank it all.

I had no one.

Not even Ms. Kelp.

She was going back to her real family. I made the mistake of thinking that was me, but I wasn’t her family. I was just a temporary thing in her life.

Everything was temporary.

Everything ended.

Everything—

“Hey! Hey! What are you doing?” a voice called out toward me.

I found myself on top of a building where I took my last photographs. You could see all of the Eastern lights from up there. You could see how everyone was out in the world living their lives. Probably with families. Probably with dreams coming true. Probably with happiness. It wasn’t fair. Life wasn’t fair, and I didn’t want to be a part of it anymore.

“Get down, buddy,” the voice said again.

I stood on the edge of the building. I had to be at least thirty floors up. The cold wind blew against my face, but I felt numb.

I glanced back at the guy, and he looked at me with eyes wide and packed with fear.

Why would a stranger look so scared for me? I didn’t matter. Someone should’ve told him that. Someone should’ve informed him that I didn’t matter. His concern was being wasted on someone who didn’t deserve it.

“Go away,” I muttered, swaying back and forth.

“I can’t! Come on, get down,” he said. “I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t bother. Not worth it,” I shot back.

My head was blurry, and I felt drunk. And sad. And sadly drunk.

“It is worth it. You’re worth it.”

“Fuck off,” I mumbled.

“I will. Once you get down. Look at me, man. Just for a second,” he begged. Even though I wanted to let go. I wanted to dive off the edge and never remember any of the things that had hurt me before. I turned to him. He placed his hands against his chest. “I get it. The world is fucked up. I’m only twenty-five years old, and I have no fucking clue what I’m doing with my life. I moved here from the south to try to find myself, and I realize it’s harder than it seems. How old are you, man?”

“Doesn’t matter to anyone.”

“It matters to me.”

I released a weighted chuckle. Then I met his stare again. It was almost as if he really met it. “Sixteen,” I muttered.

“Sixteen. Still a kid.”

“Fuck you, I’ve been through more shit than you could imagine!” I shouted, feeling anger, which was better than feeling numb, maybe. Who knew? I didn’t. Fuck, I didn’t want to do this anymore. I didn’t want to meet people just to lose them again.

“I’m sure that’s true. I have no doubt that you’ve been through it, but it can get better, man. Just a few weeks ago, I met someone during a time when I thought my life was going one way. We spent one night together that changed my outlook on everything. And yeah, it sounds corny as shit, but she changed my life. And now, here I am, on this rooftop, being given an opportunity to pay it forward, but I can’t do that if you don’t get down. So please, dude. Get down.”

Tears streamed down my face as I shook my head. “Everyone leaves. No one would even know if I died today.”

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