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“Sure. Of course. Just consider everything I’m saying. We’re supposed to fly out later this week for a big opportunity. He’s already refusing to go because he wants to make sure you’re okay. I’m sure Aiden will stop by to see you tonight. If you could do me a favor and kill any hope he might have of continuing this thing between the two of you, then that would be great.”
This thing.
As if our love was nothing more than a fling.
Samuel turned and walked away. He walked away as if he hadn’t just shattered my already damaged heart into a million little pieces.
How did I do it?
How did I break things off with the only person I never wanted to let go of?
When Aiden tappedon my window for a visit, I’d already played out the conversation about to take place in dozens of different scenarios. I’d broken down the emotional damage that could be unlocked and every reply he could give to me in an attempt to make us work. I’d gone through the ups and the downs, the hopeful and the dreadful outcomes. I’d considered him thinking I was joking. I considered him falling apart. I’d even considered him being numb.
I still wasn’t ready. I’d never be ready to break his heart.
He climbed into my bedroom and gave me the biggest hug the moment he saw me. I let him hold on a bit longer than normal. I didn’t know the next time I’d be able to be wrapped in his arms.
“Are you okay?” he whispered against my ear.
“You didn’t tell me you got the leading role for a Spielberg movie. Why didn’t you tell me that?”
He narrowed his eyes. “How did you know that?”
“Your dad stopped by and told me. He brought me flowers.” And heartbreak, but whatever.
“Oh. Yeah. I was offered the role but I didn’t take it due to the timeline issue.”
“What’s the issue?”
He narrowed his eyes at me as if I were insane. “I can’t leave you when you’re struggling like this. I need to be here for you.”
There it was. The truth that his father worried deeply about. Aiden was turning down huge opportunities to watch over me.
“You can’t do that, Aiden. You can’t turn that down. You have to do the movie.”
“But…”
“I’ll be fine.”
“I know you will be, but I want to be here for you through it all.”
I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t let him see how much this situation was breaking every piece of me. “Aiden, I’m sorry. I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
“Do what?”
“This.” I gestured back and forth between us. “Us. I can’t do this right now. I can’t have you giving up opportunities for me. That would never be okay with me.”
“Okay, fine. Then we’ll be long distance for a while. It will take work, but we will be proactive, and I’ll make sure that no matter what, you’re the first priority in my life.”
I love you, I thought.
I need you, I thought.
“I don’t want to do long distance. We crossed pretty much everything off our bucket list. We accomplished what we wanted to do during our senior year, so now you can get back to your real life.”
“My real life?” He narrowed his eyes at me. “What is this? What’s going on in your head? What are you really thinking?”
“Everything I’m thinking is what I’m saying.”
